I got kicked out of the school library for placing a women's rights book in the fiction section.
What do you call a horse rider with Down syndrome?
Down Quijote.
Roses are not always red, Violets are violet, not blue. Irises are never red, Petunias can be kinda blue.
What does this tell us 'cept you can't trust a poet to tell the truth.
A is for Amy who fell down the stairs. B is for Basil assaulted by bears. C is for Clara who wasted away. D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh. E is for Ernest who choked on a peach. F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech. G is for George smothered under a rug. H is for Hector done in by a thug. I is for Ida who drowned in a lake. J is for James who took lye by mistake. K is for Kate who was struck with an axe. L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks. M is for Maud who was swept out to sea. N is for Neville who died of ennui. O is for Olive run through with an awl. P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl. Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire. R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire. S is for Susan who perished of fits. T is for Titus who flew into bits. U is for Una who slipped down a drain. V is for Victor squashed under a train. W is for Winnie embedded in ice. X is for Xerxes devoured by mice. Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in. Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin
What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature? -- Tequila Mockingbird.
A woman walks into a library and asks if they have any books about paranoia. The librarian says, "They're right behind you!"
I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot. Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.
When I was a kid I used to read a lot. I mainly grew up reading stories by Shakespeare, especially the story Romeo & Juliet. That one in particular taught me a valuable life lesson. It taught me to not be surprised when my girlfriend killed herself.
Immobile means I'm mobile in my books.
I read a book on anti-gravity...
It was impossible to put down.
Why does Peter Pan always fly? Because he Neverlands.
I’m reading a book about Anti-Gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
Did you hear that Stephen Hawking wrote a new book? It's called "Around The House in Eighty Days."
What did Schrödinger say to Shakespeare? -- To be and not to be.
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles' elbow.
