Listening Jokes

What instrument do people like to listen to while having sex?

A SEX-aphone.

If a priest listen to sad music in his church he really enjoys to be deep in minor

When my mom said you have to listen to classical music at my new school. I had to listen to it at twenty four seven, after that I sang the song the wrong melody for my music teacher 😎

Luisa: the ship doesn't swerve as it heard how big the iceberg is

Captain of the titanic: wait what did you say

3 minutes later

Why didn't I listen to the strong one

i would rather be drugged and robbed by cardi b than listen to her fucking music

what do cows listen to? - Moo-sic

There were people having sex when it started sinking. Legend tells when you go near the ship you can see semin and if you listen close enough you'll hear them moaning.

Now that's a hell of a ghost story.

A man enters a bar with some friends, and they all sit down to a drink. After not too long, a man with glasses comes through the front door saying "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" When no one listens, he shrugs, and everyone watches him go up the stairs. Ten seconds later, he comes back in through the door, again saying "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" Everyone is amazed, and a few people leave to go fly with him. He keeps coming back into the bar, bringing more and more patrons to join him. The man at the bar is about to join in when the bartender finally sighs. "For the last time Superman, get out of my bar, you're drunk and the only person here that can fly!" The man with glasses frowns. "Where did all the others go, then?"

Stephan Hawking listens to the song Iam Still Standing and crys tohimself

Guys if you saw a post from someone is pretending to be me don't listen to them. I'm just going to be out for 3 days. or maybe for a mounth break. There are a lot fakers.

My grandpa warned people the titanic would sink, but they wouldn’t listen so he kept warning them then he was kicked out of the theater

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Guy it was so weird yesterday I saw a guy and he kept repeating the same thing over and over I hate people with dementia I told my mom to get a new mirror but she she won’t listen to me it’s almost like I sand it like 20 times every time I say it

n 1941, Hans, a young German boy, was listening to the radio. Over the radio, Hitler announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States. “Father, where is the United States,” Hans asked. His father pointed at a map of North America. “Aren’t we currently at war with Russia? Where might that be,” he questioned his father. The man pointed towards the Soviet Union. “And I’m told we’re also at war with the British Empire. Where is that?” The father pointed out all of the territories owned by the British. “Where is Germany again, Father?” He pointed to their home country in Central Europe. Hans pondered this information for a second. “One last question, Father.” “Yes?” “Has Hitler seen this map?”

What kind of music do elves listen to? Wrap music

One day at school little Jhonny was not listening so the teacher came up to him teacher: at the end of this ruler is someone dumb ,little Jhonny: miss which end where you referring to?