Like jokes
One day, Little Susie got her monthly bleeding for the first time in her life.
Not quite certain what was happening, and somewhat frightened, she decided to tell Little Johnny. Little Susie dropped her panties and showed Little Johnny what was happening.
Little Johnny's eyes opened wide in amazement. "You know," he said, "I'm not a doctor, but it looks like someone just ripped your balls off!"
I had a goldfish that could break dance on the carpet... but only for, like, twenty seconds and only once.
If you donβt like mowing your lawn, just get emo grass! It cuts itself!
Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you fuck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR FUCKED NOW
How do you know your sister is on her period? Your dad's c**k tastes like s**t!
Memes
Family be like:
Today is the day of 9/11, and we were in class making jokes, and somebody said, "That's sad." I was like, "Why?" And they said, "Today is the day the towers went down." I said, "Just like I did on your mum last night."
1 like = 1 more missile aimed at a hospital.
I like George Floyd's new song. It is really breathtaking.
Me: Would you like to be the sun in my life?
Her: Awww... Yes!!!
Me: Good, then stay 92.96 million miles away from me.
Why is a gun like a box of chocolates?
If you pull one out in class, everyone wants to be your friend.
Your mom is like a penny: two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants.
Go drop-kick an orphan. No one will know, not like his parents would know.
I walked into the party and the host asked me if I would like a slice of pie.
I responded "yes," and he said: "okay, 14159."
My aunt visited and saw all of the stuff around the house my mom had kept over the years and said, "If you have something that no one likes, and it only makes people upset, or it's useless, throw it away."
The next time my aunt visited, she said, "Where is your daughter?"
My mom said, "I took your advice."
Why do bisexual men π¨ π© π¨ love gay men bisexual men don't love gay men π¬ π¨ π¨ they just wanted to suck gay men's π¬ cocks π π because they π π like their π¨ π¨ π¦ π¦ cream filling π βΊ π π π€ π π βΊ π π π€ π π βΊ
I slept like a log last night... woke up in the fireplace.
So, Little Johnny comes home from school knowing damn well he messed up his math test. His mother and father get home and he tells them, "Mom, I failed my math test." His mother aggressively says, "Get the belt!" Johnny says, "Why?" His mother says, "I'm gonna spank you for failing!" Johnny says, "So just like daddy?" His father turns red knowing what they did last night.
Girlfriends are just like AK47s; they always go off on you.
A mouse is just like a ball bearing.
Drench them in oil, and they stop squeaking.
To my best friend, my brother is like a spider. She chose to kill him straight away. That's why she is my friend, after all!