Like jokes
Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?
-You have to be alive to have autism.
A wife asked her husband, "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied, "I like your sense of humor!"
I look at my girlfriend’s ass like a homeless man looks at a trash can.
Like it’s my next meal.
I’d like to take you to the movies, but unfortunately, they don’t let you bring your own snacks.
You look like something I drew with my left hand.
This song is sus, because I’m happy. Clap along if you feel like happiness is the root. What are you clapping?
Hello! I hope you're having a good day or night! Mind commenting when you laughed the hardest and why? Like if you like this post!
Why did Jeffery Dahmer not eat old people?
He does not like roasted vegetables.
If I smiled one centimeter each time I watched someone I hated die, I'd look like the Cheshire Cat.
What does a bouncy airplane sound like?
Boeing Boeing Boeing...
Top tip; if your wife asks, "What would you like to do to my body?" 'Identify it' is the wrong answer.
I like my women the way I like my sandwiches... A little meat between their buns.
Looks like someone's funny bone's broken!
"Have a nice day" and "enjoy the next 24 hours" mean the same thing, but one sounds like a threat.
Titanic walks into a bar. Britannic: "What would you like to drink?" Titanic: "An iceberg."
What do Time Clocks like to play?
Tick Tack Toe.
What Spider-Man movie does an orphan like? Homecoming.
What does a peeing pterodactyl sound like?
Nothing, the pee is silent.
"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "What's wrong with me!" "Calm down, calm down. Just pull yourself together!"
You want to know the bad thing? Only 5 out of 6 people like Russian roulette.