Like

Like jokes

Homework

Lemme treat you like I treat my homework: slam you on my desk and do you all night.

Weight

"You look like you've lost some weight."

"Really? Well, whatever weight I lost, you found it, pal!"

Memes

Depression

Q: Why was the depressed kid sad on Christmas?

A: They weren't hanging like the ornaments on a tree.

Food

Fatty told Skinny, "Do you have any food? My stomach is empty and I haven't eaten."

Skinny replied to Fatty, "Well, doesn't seem like you need food, you ate the whole universe instead!"

Friend

My friend was feeling low today, so I went up to her and said, "You know, I would hang in there if I was you, swaying through life." I don't think she likes me now.

Priest

What is the difference between a priest and a doctor?

The doctor doesn't like to give physicals.

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  • People

    The more people who like to eat Tide Pods, the less idiots we have in the world. 😁

    Hare

    Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?

    Because from a distance, they looked like hare.

    Insult

    I know you don't like me, and that implies you need better taste.

    I'm not an astronomer, but I'm pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.

    I'd give you a nasty look, but it seems like you've already got one.

    Your birth certificate should be rewritten as a letter of apology.

    You haven't changed since the last time I saw you. You really should.

    Emo kid

    Emo kids counting be like: 1, 2, 3 come hang with me! 4, 5, 6 Gonna get new slits! 7, 8, 9 Suicide! 10, 11, 12 Bring some pills!