Like jokes

Why does Michael Jackson like Doge Miner? He thinks it's about minors dressed in doge costumes.

Q: Why was the depressed kid sad on Christmas?

A: They weren't hanging like the ornaments on a tree.

Fatty told Skinny, "Do you have any food? My stomach is empty and I haven't eaten."

Skinny replied to Fatty, "Well, doesn't seem like you need food, you ate the whole universe instead!"

Q: How are Clocks like Pedophiles? A: They both stop at 12.

Lemme treat you like I treat my homework: slam you on my desk and do you all night.

Alyas' dad died, that's comedy. Something not funny is like BLM.

"You look like you've lost some weight."

"Really? Well, whatever weight I lost, you found it, pal!"

Girls are like volcanoes.

You never know when they will erupt.

Seat belts are like the condom for cars.

Why do bunnies like Bruno Mars? Because he got 24 carrots.

What does Michael Jackson like to drink? Tea-he-he.

When the US Army found Chinese soldiers selling secrets to China, they said, "Looks like we have some chinks in our armor."

What do alcoholics and necrophiliacs have in common?

They both like cracking open a cold one.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue, I’d rather be single than with someone like you.

What is the difference between a priest and a doctor?

The doctor doesn't like to give physicals.

The more people who like to eat Tide Pods, the less idiots we have in the world. 😁

Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?

Because from a distance, they looked like hare.

20 likes by just cheese.

I know you don't like me, and that implies you need better taste.

I'm not an astronomer, but I'm pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.

I'd give you a nasty look, but it seems like you've already got one.

Your birth certificate should be rewritten as a letter of apology.

You haven't changed since the last time I saw you. You really should.

My wife is like a mirror.

I can never look at it.