Like jokes
Your hairline is so far back you look like Frankenstein.
Girls are like a bus; you might miss the first bus and catch the second bus.
Max Heart and his gay cousin Nickals Amoto say I back out of a fight. When he said let's fight, then last minute he said he doesn't want to, then says I chickened out. I [was] ready to fight, but his gut [was] swollen [and] his arms [were]. He actually looks like Humpty Dumpty, but [I] just wanted to say he backed out + Max and Nickals are both gay with each other.
Why don't heterosexual 👨 👨 👨 👨 👨 👨 👨 suck a 🍌 because 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌 tastes like 🐙?
A rich man and a poor man are talking about anniversaries. The rich man got his wife a Mercedes and a diamond ring. He says if the wife does not like the ring, she can take the Mercedes and leave.
The poor man said he got his wife slippers and a dildo. He says if his wife does not like the slippers, she can go and fuck herself.
Teacher, there are 3 birds. 1 gets shot. How many are left?
Student, none. They flew off because the shot scared them off.
Teacher, actually 2, but I like the way you think.
5 minutes later
Student, there are 3 women eating ice cream. 1 is licking it, 1 is drinking it melted, and 1 is sucking it. Which one is married?
Teacher, the one sucking it?
Student, no, the one with the ring, but I like the way you think.
Girls are like bacteria. The toxic ones are everywhere, and you have to take special care of the good ones.
Why do orphans like milk so much?
Because they got no milk as a baby.
Do not ever make fun of people who look like they have no necks. They are fully protected from vampires.
Why does Mao Zedong like the east coast?
Because there is a red Sun in the sky.
My neighbor is like my marriage. They're both in the hole.
I would like to tell you the name of a song I showed to my friend who had an overdose of LSD.
I see a dreamer.
Do you like Mirah?
Mirah-t nuts.
Life is a lot like a penis. It's relaxed, and just hanging there.
It's women that make it hard.
Me: I hit an orphan!
Mom: OMG WHY?
Me: Not like they can tell their parents-
I heard oxygen and magnesium were dating, and I was like, "OMg!"
Life is like a bag of jellybeans.
Nobody likes the black ones.
How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut!
I'll kill a bitch like the policeman did to that white woman. He chopped her up and put her in the woods, the suck fuck.
A girl was going through some really bad health issues at her house. It got so bad that she had to be rushed to the hospital.
Her husband found out about this after work and went to check on her. When he got there, the desk lady immediately pointed down the hall to a doctor. The guy walked up to the doctor, "Are you the one taking care of my wife?" The doctor glanced away from his papers, "Yes, that would be me, but I am afraid that she is in very bad condition. I have bad news and good news. The bad news is that she will have to be wheeled around in a wheelchair. Also, she can't eat normally. Taking care of her will become very hard. Basically, it will be like taking care of a big baby." Shocked, the guy says, "Wait, if that's the bad news, than what is the good news?" The doctor goes, "I'm just kidding with you, she died!"