Like jokes

Why does Michael Jackson like Doge Miner? He thinks it's about minors dressed in doge costumes.

Fortnite is just like high school. You get off the bus and start shooting everybody.

Q: Why was the depressed kid sad on Christmas?

A: They weren't hanging like the ornaments on a tree.

Fatty told Skinny, "Do you have any food? My stomach is empty and I haven't eaten."

Skinny replied to Fatty, "Well, doesn't seem like you need food, you ate the whole universe instead!"

Women treat me like a god.

They ignore me till they need something.

Your hairline looks like the McDonald's sign M.

My friend was feeling low today, so I went up to her and said, "You know, I would hang in there if I was you, swaying through life." I don't think she likes me now.

Why do bunnies like Bruno Mars? Because he got 24 carrots.

you play gatcha life more like go get a life.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue, I’d rather be single than with someone like you.

A good woman is like a good cup of coffee, especially when it’s strong and hot with a little bit of cream in it.

What is the difference between a priest and a doctor?

The doctor doesn't like to give physicals.

Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don't have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan: he tells his friend, "We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks. But then when the bill comes, you get down and suck on the hot-dog, and it'll look like you're sucking on my dick. So then we'll get thrown out without paying, and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again."

His friend agrees, so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude's pants, go to the bar, and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, "Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!" The first guy says, "Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!"

The more people who like to eat Tide Pods, the less idiots we have in the world. 😁

Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?

Because from a distance, they looked like hare.

20 likes by just cheese.

I know you don't like me, and that implies you need better taste.

I'm not an astronomer, but I'm pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.

I'd give you a nasty look, but it seems like you've already got one.

Your birth certificate should be rewritten as a letter of apology.

You haven't changed since the last time I saw you. You really should.

My wife is like a mirror.

I can never look at it.

Emo kids counting be like: 1, 2, 3 come hang with me! 4, 5, 6 Gonna get new slits! 7, 8, 9 Suicide! 10, 11, 12 Bring some pills!

Emo girls be like: How much am I worth...

Girl, scan the code on your wrist!