Stage 4 cancer is like a woman you can’t beat it but if you do she’ll probably come back again
Am I the only one who gives people in the neighborhood names they don't know they have? Like "Blue truck dude", "Loud dog guy", "Nice old lady with the rose bushes", "That slut across the street",
So there I was, having a fantastic time going down on my nan When suddenly I got a nasty taste in my mouth.
"Wait a minute" I said. This distinctly tastes like horse semen
Then it clicked. "Ah, so that's how you died"
Why did the rape victim think it was Christmas?
Because her clothes were torn off like wrapping paper
Why is that kid walking like that?, Oh, he's an alter boy
The thing I don't like about shopping centers...
When you see one, you've seen a mall.
Did you hear about the two-car pile-up in Mexico? Yeah like 200 Mexicans died.
dark jokes are like clean water, not everyone gets it.
I'll never forget how my grandmother died. "this lemonade tastes like bleach..."
Good sex sounds like a white man walking across the street with flip-flops on.
What kind of woman does Bill Cosby like the most?
The “cold and passed out” kind.
Weather is like sex. Once In a while you need to get wet.
My wife is like a mirror
I can never look at it
Women are like IPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberrys, rub one ball and everything moves!
Hey, I know this is a classic joke but I found it pretty funny!
"My name is 4, four like the number", my friend - "What, was 1 2 3 taken?"
I can even with it but I was bored and decided to share this x
I find it bemusing that hardcore right-wingers are superfans of Johnny Depp, considering that he looks like a dangerous Mexican drug lord.
I now know what my first tattoo should be, zebra stripes! Not like anyone would know the difference between them.
What's a orphans favorite part in the wizard of oz?
When Dorothy says "there's no place like home".
Look I didn't hit rock bottom I gracefully floated down there like Mary Poppins with an umbrella.
Why can't all guys be more like Kenny? He doesn't get all upset when his mom isn't in the mood.
