Like jokes

I find it bemusing that hardcore right-wingers are superfans of Johnny Depp, considering that he looks like a dangerous Mexican drug lord.

I now know what my first tattoo should be, zebra stripes! Not like anyone would know the difference between them.

Male Patient: So I just pull my pants down and bend over for my prostate exam.

Doctor: Yup.

Male: Ok I'm ready....hey doc that doesn't feel like a finger.

Doctor: He he yeah...im not a doctor.

Like this if you laughed.

These orphan jokes would leave them crying to their mommies if they had any.

I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.

Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.

Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.

Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back. (Clearly someone didn't come back with the milk)

Why was the orphan so successful? When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.

What’s the only advantage of being an orphan? Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.

Hope you had fun reading this! My friend and I laughed reading all of em!

Why don't North Koreans like jazz music?

Because they don't have soul.

The other day I started watching Game of Thrones.

I told my friend about it. Told him all about the violence, murder, decapitation, gore, sex, gay sex, midget sex, prostitution, rape, paedophilia, incest, and inbreeding... And he was like: "Oh, so you're still on the first episode then?"

So, an Irish man is walking his poodle, and his buddy comes running up to him saying there’s a new pub in town and they’re giving out free pints.

So the man picks up his dog and runs like hell to the bar. But the bar owner stops him and says, "Sorry, you can’t go in." The Irish man says, "Why can’t I go in?" "Well, you have a dog, sir, and that sign over there says no dogs allowed. You’re going to have to leave him outside." Well, the Irish man thinks quick and says, "I’m blind; it’s a seeing eye dog." The owner says, "That’s ridiculous. A seeing eye dog would be a German shepherd or golden Labrador or something like that." The Irish man says, "Well, what kind of dog did they give me??"😂

I visited the 9/11 memorial, that was bomb just like the towers.

I can tell a joke :)

Twinkle, twinkle, there's a car Coming like a shooting star. I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.

Scientists say I'm made up of 75% of water.

But after jumping in the ocean, it's 100%, just like my depression.

A funny joke scenario.

Person 1: Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?

Person 2: Because he had no "body" to go with.

Person 1: Because he was ugly, fat, and nobody liked him.

Lemme treat you like I treat my homework: slam you on my desk and do you all night.

Fortnite is just like high school. You get off the bus and start shooting everybody.

Women treat me like a god.

They ignore me till they need something.

Your hairline looks like the McDonald's sign M.

Q: Why was the depressed kid sad on Christmas?

A: They weren't hanging like the ornaments on a tree.

My friend was feeling low today, so I went up to her and said, "You know, I would hang in there if I was you, swaying through life." I don't think she likes me now.

Alyas' dad died, that's comedy. Something not funny is like BLM.

"You look like you've lost some weight."

"Really? Well, whatever weight I lost, you found it, pal!"

What do alcoholics and necrophiliacs have in common?

They both like cracking open a cold one.