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Me and my friend were cranking 90s in Fortnite, then our other friend joined, started flying a plane. We died like all the people in 9/11.
Officer: Hi, how high are you?
Pothead: No officer, it's "how are you?"
Officer: Oh, I'm sorry, I've been high since last night.
Pothead: Cool, I'd like to give you some weed, happy 420, sir.
Officer: Omg, thanks man, appreciate that.
What does Mammot like on a woman’s body?
Bum bum bummmm buuummmmm bummm.
+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.
+1 follower = 1 kid in my Microwave.
+1 Comet.
Teacher, there are 3 birds. 1 gets shot. How many are left?
Student, none. They flew off because the shot scared them off.
Teacher, actually 2, but I like the way you think.
5 minutes later
Student, there are 3 women eating ice cream. 1 is licking it, 1 is drinking it melted, and 1 is sucking it. Which one is married?
Teacher, the one sucking it?
Student, no, the one with the ring, but I like the way you think.
Talking to a liberal is like trying to explain social media to a 70-year-old.
A baby is like another step. You use it just the same as the other steps.
I'm racist.
I don't like green cars.
If I was an object in this world, I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge, I will likely shatter and break.
Which company likes Jesus the most?
IHS Markit!
Women say their baby daddies are trash like... woman, didn't he impregnate you and didn't he win your heart? I mean, he's not trash, you are!
Like this post and comment down below if you want me to announce my real name in my next post!
Q: What kind of Christmas music do elves like?
A: “Wrap” music.
What is the difference between underaged privileged children with bone cancer and you?
I like you!
I heard oxygen and magnesium were dating, and I was like, "OMg!"
Hey guys, I haven't been on in like freaking forever! Sorry. Anyways, I love you, Emerald! :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDD I hope you're on!
Love you all. Hope you all have a nice day, Best regards, Koko, <3
I like cats.
Little Sally comes home from school one day and says to her mom, "Mommy, mommy, you won’t believe it! Little Johnny just pulled out his PP in class." The mother responded, "Well, what did it look like?" Sally said, "It looks like a peanut." The mother said, "Oh, it was small." "No, it was salty," said Sally.
One day my pet barked at me and so I got scared and was my dad actually. It was weird, you should’ve saw him and so the day goes on because he likes to run around the house that he likes to do it out 😂😂😂😂😱
Hello worstjokesever.com, I am not typing but instead using a microphone to speech, ding me a period.
I don’t see what’s coming up, but I don’t know why I am sending, so it will be random or funny or just stupid, LOL. So like and subscribe and...