Like jokes
I like my dynamite like I like my woman: hot and ready to explode.
My Indian wife said last night if her fanny would taste like vindaloo curry, I said I've smelt your fucking armpits, you've got no chance.
L bozos fell like my grandma on the stairs.
Well, if Stephen Hawking likes black holes so much, why did he call security when I put my hole on his face?
I like my girlfriends like my children: dead.
Yo mama is so ugly, she made dirt look like a supermodel.
Male Patient: So I just pull my pants down and bend over for my prostate exam.
Doctor: Yup.
Male: Ok I'm ready....hey doc that doesn't feel like a finger.
Doctor: He he yeah...im not a doctor.
What games do bats like to play at recess?
Bee Jokes:
"Hello."
"Oh, hello, Buzzy!"
"Why are ya calling me Buzzy this whole time?"
"Because you BEE BUZZing!" (Laughs)
"It's not funny! Jokes are the worst, although I hate those Bee Jokes!"
"Chillax bro. Don't BEE a hater of jokes, dude!" (Laughs)
"Aagh! You always had a choice, but I will sting ya face!"
"No! You BEE like pollen to make HONEY-moon." (Laughs)
"Stoooop!! I'm outta here, your worst fan."
"Fan?"
"Yes, your worst fan!"
"No! Fan!"
"What?! Aaaaaauuuuggghhhh!!!"
"Ohhh! Buzzy's looking BEE-wind!" (Laughs)
How are gay people like mice?
They both hate pussies.
I tell orphan jokes like there ain’t no parents around.
One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, "OH! THE HUMANATEE!"
Dark Humor is like a child with cancer. It never gets old.
Madden, because tissue, I weep Tears like rivers, cascading deep In this world, so full of strife I find solace in this fragile life.
Oh tissue, tender and so pure, Absorbing pain, a whispered cure. Each tear that falls, you gently hold, A conduit for the stories untold.
In the quiet moments, I confide In your embrace, I can't hide The weight of sorrow, the burden's strain You're there, a balm for every pain.
But madden, oh how you disrupt, In your chaos, emotions erupt. You twist and tangle, hearts collide, Leaving us lost, unable to decide.
Yet even in your tangled mess, You bring forth growth, a rare finesse, For in the madness, we find our way To stand tall, facing a brand-new day.
So madden, meet tissue, ever entwined, In this dance of emotions, our souls aligned. Through tears and anger, joy and fears, We find strength, as life perseveres.
Short and sweet, this tale of strife, Unraveling souls, seeking life. Madden, because tissue, we may be, But we'll rise above, forever free.
What looks like half a cat?
The other half.
This is a joke about Ms. Ploopatoink, a made-up character who is a pink fluffy pony who loves toilet paper.
Why is Ms. Ploopatoink like a toilet plunger?
They both jump in the toilet!
The second twin tower is like Canada. It doesn’t exist.
Why does Michael Jackson like Chef Boyardee? He likes the little balls.
According to a recent poll, your mother said, "I like the guy who saw the guy who doesn't have a brain!"
I want to be like pizza so I can get cut into 8 pieces.