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Like jokes

Friend

Friend: Do you think she likes me?

Me: Yah.

Friend: ReallyπŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€?

Me: Hell no.

Friend: πŸ˜₯πŸ˜“πŸ˜«πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­ You did not have to be so honest.

Minivan

Five minutes later, she agreed to get with me, so we went and rocked the minivan like, "Giggity, Giggity, Giggity!"

Memes

Cow

What does a cow sound like when in a horror house?

Moo mooo moooooooo (screaming)!

Sun

Why is the sun red today?

The sun turned red today. Here's why. As an enormous Atlantic storm batters Ireland, a related phenomenon is turning heads further east over in the United Kingdom. ... Just like the way sunsets are sometimes red, excess particles in the atmosphere can change the color of the sun in the daytime.

Time

One time my boyfriend and I were playing the tickle game and I tickled him on his thighs by accident, and I said, "Oh no, I am dead."

Then he started tickling me on my thighs up to my vagina, and then I moaned while laughing and told him, "STOP, please."

Then he said, "That's what I thought," and I was like, you cheated. He was like, "You first did it."

So he went to the restroom and pulled down his pants. Then I jumped on him and pulled his dick five times, and he screamed, and I quickly ran out and laughed. Then he ran to me, and I screamed, and he started eating my pussy and fingering me while I said, "Okay, okay, stop."

And he stopped and started sucking my boobs and giving me hickeys while I said, "Please stop," and then I pushed him off, and he turned me around and put his dick in my hole, and I said, "Owwwwwwww."

Then he said, "Play with me, I'll fuck you up."

I said, "Ughh," and slapped him.

Gravity

Why does air not come down? I think gravity didn't like the Facebook page of air.

Trap

The kid that died is cut in half, and you see the next trap. It looks like a giant pit that you have to jump over, and you clear it, but you feel something on your back, and you realize that there is a spike that comes up when you jump over. You see the other contestant jump over. You try to warn them to not step over because they would get stabbed, but they ignore you and then get hit by the spike. The next obstacle is a wall that slams on a wall. You wait until the wall closes, and you quickly run through. The next person runs through, and they get to live.

Sorry, this is small. This is also a part two.

Forehead

Someone said to me they like greasy food with gravy.

I said no wonder your forehead's so greasy.

Body

When I die, I want my body to be cremated.

And fucked! Fucked really hard, papΓ­!! Like a real whore!! Like a real tramp!! Stuff your entire cock in there!!! Uhh!! Uhh!!

Love

In the realm of words, where thoughts take flight, A curious tale, strange as the night, Of Alex Fisher, with love so bizarre, For random Hitler lemons, bizarre but bizarre.

Free Verse, they say, this poem shall be, Unrestrained, unrhymed, flowing and free, Yet how to capture this perplexing love, For lemons and Hitler, soaring above?

Alex Fisher, a soul with peculiar taste, Finds joy in lemons with a sour embrace, And Hitler, a name that evokes dark pain, Inexplicably entwined, like wind and rain.

Randomness, the thread that weaves this tale, No logic, no reason, no rhyme to prevail, For who could fathom this peculiar love, Of lemons and Hitler, below and above?

Yet in the realm of words, where all is allowed, We explore the uncharted, the strange and the proud, And though this poem may bewilder and confuse, Let it remind us, acceptance we must choose.

For love knows no boundaries, no norms to abide, It transcends our expectations, with no need to hide, So let us embrace the quirks that make us unique, For in the tapestry of life, we find what we seek.

So here's to Alex Fisher, with love all their own, May they find happiness, wherever they've flown, In lemons and Hitler, a world so absurd, May their love be a reminder, that love has no words.

Instagram

Follow me on Instagram @v2good.at.fortnite and @v2good.at.edits for a surprise.

Btw, you have to like all my posts :)