Like jokes

I was watching The Conjuring with an emo person. She said she likes the part where the girl was hanging. I said, "Why? Because you wish it were you?"

You look like you're playing hide-and-seek with your hairline.

So if you say a bear shoots children, and Leah likes Mason Boswells, and I go to Benjamin Adlard year 6.

You're so ugly, when you put makeup on, it makes you look like a clown.

Are you a bull, because I wanna ride you like a rodeo.

Bro, you look like you got your hair from the Roblox avatar shop.

Your mama has slept with so many guys, she's starting to look like one.

Abortion isn't murder, it's more like backspacing a typo.

Sorry to hear you feel like poo!

A guy is walking down the street when he almost steps in something. He looks down and says, "Looks like shit."

He crouches down and smells it, "Smells like shit."

He sticks his finger in, tastes it, "Tastes like shit."

He then smiles and says, "Well, good thing I didn't step on it!"

Why don't nurses like giving old people baths or showers?

Because they don't want their vegetables to get soggy.

How can you tell it's a gay barbecue?

'Cause all the hot dogs taste like shit.

Mortar is like a woman's fanny; the more you play with it, the wetter it gets.

My tutor just said this quote of 2k18^^^

Pontypool is rough.

So I was looking through my pictures and I found a picture of a random kid that took a picture of his ugly face. It looked like someone that got hit by a car, then a bus, then a semi.

That’s what I get for not having a password on my iPad.

I like tacos more than you like tacos.

Who likes more tacos?

Mee! said the taco.

If your hot dog tastes like a piece of wood, who are you going to call?

"Ghost Musterd."

What is welfare fraud supposed to taste like?

Bananas and Rice.

I have a friend of mine from school. I always see them with bangs, so I never knew what their forehead looked like until one day they came... Their forehead was bigger than Mount Everest, that you can make an entire Olympics mountain climbing audition on that forehead! :)

So I went to a mall and I was finna buy something... and I saw a little boy and he said "hello," so then I passed by him and he said "hi," and I was like "hi nigga," and he said, "um, just wondering something... I mean I like jokes, but what is dark humor?" And I was like "umm🤔.. it's like 🤔🤔...like you see that guy without legs? Tell him to stand up"... and he said "I'm blind nigga" and I said "exactly homie"... aight nigga peace and look out😏😉

Young man: "Very good money, and how about the name of the stupid young man again?"

Friend: "Dagobert Duck."

Young man: "Ah, I remember. He was the American useless."

Friend: "Ah, you mean Donald Trump?"

Young man: "Yes, just like that! I know exactly how the guy managed to become president. Hahaha!!!"