Like jokes
Yo mama is like train tracks; she gets laid all around the country.
Roses are dead, violets smell like poo, I got a big fucking shotgun, what you gonna do?
Life is like a McDonald's meal; it only lasts 7 seconds for fat people.
Just because someone is white doesn't mean they are bad.
Sure, white Americans all treat Trump like a deity and are proud of their heritage of enslaving blacks.
But Canadians and Australians don't throw a hissy fit every time they see someone not white, and they don't think Europe is a country.
Deals is bully, right? Denise, like a bully type of rock, is a piggy.
Why do pedos like to lose races? Because they like to cum on a little behind.
You may not like me, but you still look up to me.
My family is like an apple tree. My sister is that ugly one that has to rot in.
A married woman gets hit by a truck, and the cops tell her husband:
Cop: "Sir, it looks like your wife's been hit by a truck."
Man: "I know, but she has a great personality."
Why do orphans like boomerangs?
Because then they can play catch.
DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DABDAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB.
If you like penis.
What do you call an emo that likes pizza? A pizza cutter.
Bully says, "You are DISGUSTING!!!!!!"
The girl says, "Just like your face."
A man is depressed and he sighs. A bully says, "Stop sighing, you sound like some guys having a threesome!"
God creates a wasp :)
God: Okay, so make it reeeeally tiny. Like less than half a fly.
Angel: okay... a bug.
God: now give it's face a sword, but it has a hole so it's basically a mouth.
Angel: weird.. but okay...
God: and give it wings.
Angel: eh, not half bad Go-
God: NOW MAKE IT EAT THE BLOOD OF ALL LIVING ANIMALS AND HUMANS
Angel: *shook* o-okay
God: okay. Now make sure whenever a human is bit it feels the pain of a million suns burning it, making it scratch until it bleeds out.
Angel: . - .
God: and make sure it also transfers diseases through the species. Give 'em a taste 'o that! *evil grin*
Angel: *cries*
Angel: *whispers; I'm so sorry..*
Dark Jokes R Like Puppies:
Once they come out they are trash, but once it starts to get older, that’s when it’s noticed, but when it gets too old, you either proclaim it dead or never talk about it.
(I would never do that though I love puppies)
Once upon a time, there was a magician named Daniel. He usually did gigs for children, and this time he was working at a kid's birthday party. He walked in and said, "Hi boys and girls, my name is Daniel." He performed multiple tricks, each one amazing the children. Then, he said, "And for my final trick; I will disappear!" He lifted up a blanket and when it fell down he was gone.
Then, the birthday boy said, "Hey, he's like my dad."
"Really?" asked a little girl.
"I guessed?" he said back, "My dad wasn't a magician, but he disappeared. I haven't seen him since...."
How can you tell your best friend is gay?
His meat tastes like shit.
(Girl) Do you ever blink?
(Doll) (No reply).
(Girl) You look like a mannequin!
(Doll) (No reply).
What do you call a group of letters that like to dance but make you want to poop?
A vowel movement.