Like jokes

Don't y'all just hate when something funny to you happens and then you just have to be quiet so you don't look like a villain?

"Float like a butternut, sting like a bee."

The Pope drives around in a glass box, or as I like to call him, a sniper's dream.

Why does the Flash eat ostriches? Because he likes fast food.

What cigarettes does Churchill's wife like to smoke?

Blue Winston.

I like my wife like I like my coffee: so sweet, it gives me headaches.

Me: Hey, do you live in the ocean?

Random guy: Why?

Me: Because you look like a whale.

When your parents ask you to take out the trash, you knock out your brother, put him in a closet, and when your parents ask where he is, you say, "I took him out like you said."

Guess what that is and it’s explosive. The end looks like <>

Why doesn't Elon Musk like Taco Bell?

It gives him gas.

Shup up, transparent hairline. Look like you got splashed by some clear soap.

I was playing Fortnite with a kid, then I heard their emo sister in the background, and it sounded like they were playing Fortnite, too, with the pistol shot and all.

Your hairline looks like the stairway to hell.

Bent and far back.

Your hairline looks like it got burnt in the Civil War.

Fat teachers be like: "I hope you're paying a ten chin."

What's green and smells like pork?

Kermit's fingers!

My country is so corrupt that it voted me as the most sexiest man.

Victory assured, I will continue like that till I'm six feet under.

You're as tall as a giraffe.

Well, that's why you look like a baked bean!

Juice WRLD

More like "Juice Boxed."

RIP tho.

POV: me telling a joke.

My dad: nobody likes a smart-ass.

Me: Nobody likes a smart-ass until the smart-ass finds a cure for cancer.