Like jokes
What do rats like on their birthday? Mice cream and cake.
Don’t you just wanna hang around, like Chester?
Your hairline is so bad, when you look in the mirror, your hairline looks like an endangered species.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, but not like the other passengers in the car with him.
I went to a sleepover at my best friend's house. He lives with his grandpa and little brother, his mom and dad. His little brother likes to run around the house naked sometimes. I can't help but notice his grandpa always looks up when he does.
Urban areas are filled with terrorists, feminists, liberals, and murderers. Which one is not like the others? Murderers because they don't pretend to have a cause.
She likes the Donkey-Punch. She likes the Dirty Sanchez. Sometimes she even likes to fool around in your bed!
I would like to make a Minecraft joke...
It would be too plain.
Yo mama so fat she makes the sun look like a dwarf star!
Bully: You're so short you hand-glide on a chip.
Short person: Well, at least I don’t look like a giraffe that just came out of an oven!
- Sometimes I feel like killing myself...
- But?
- ...
I like you, you like me.
Let’s go out and kill Barney with a big shot gun. Barney’s on the floor, no more purple dinosaur. 🌸🌸🌸🌺🌺🌺🥀🥀🥀RIP BARNEY
Why do Fortnite players have such good teeth?
Because they like to floss.
Ok, so let me tell y'all the lore. Basically, what happened was there's these mfs called Rhys and a guy named Mobrur. Mobrur is a fish basically from Bangladesh and Israel, so he's just a fish because he's Netanyahu's cousin, and Liam is from Australia; he's just a white piece of crap.
Basically, what happened was they knocked up each other because they were drunk and jumping on Netanyahu's beer belly, and it was all just a mess. Rhys is trying to get child support and half property from Fish, but he won't give it because he is nasty and claiming what isn't his, and he said, "No one likes you." So to summarize it, he killed him and is in jail now.
And there he met Mooha and he turned straight, Alhamdulillah! EVERYONE SAY ALHAMDULILLAH! He became straight, then Mooha got knocked up in prison and the guards beat them and they died.
Like this if you have ever had a family member die.
Why are friends a lot like snow?
If you pee on them, they disappear.
School sucks, just like you, get roasted nerds.
"Can I throw you away? You look like my trash can. Oh, wait, you *are* my trash can."
What do you call a priest that likes juice?
A Capriest Sun.
Why is chemotherapy like a five-star meal?
Because you have to have money to pay for it.