Like jokes
"Texas be like it's cold over here over here."
Yo, I feel like shit when you're around.
One day I visited my friend in a hospital.
I remember when I spoke, "You know, sometimes it's reaching its peak and its lowest state, but I know you'll always end like the others at calming and straight!"
Yes, I talked about the heart monitor beside him.
You are like a thunderstorm; when you go away, like your dad, everyone is happy.
Women be like I don't wear makeup for men.
Then get mad when a man doesn't compliment her in her makeup!
Squirtle to Bulbasaur: "You kinda cum... like a baka..."
Your mum is stupid, just like you.
Kid at Wish: I wish I could be Batman.
Doctor: Okay, shoots mum and dad. Doctor: I guess now you’ll have to be gay, you wanted to be like Batman.
If boys are like sports because they are easy to play, then girls are like a sandwich. They are nice at first, but they're crusty after.
Opinions are like orgasms. The only one that matters is mine and I don't care if you have one.
An African man was walking in New York when he saw a sign that said, "Watch out for children."
He started laughing hysterically, then a white man asked him, "Why are you laughing?"
He said, "In Africa, they would never put up a sign like that."
How come Mr. Squirrel watches porn sometimes?
Sometimes he feels like a nut, sometimes he don't.
Yo head built like 2 parentheses.
Person: What's your perfect date look like?
Me: Oh, just hanging around in a tree.
Guy: Are you tired?
His “Crush”: No.
Guy: Are you sure, because you’ve been running through my mind all day?
His “Crush”: That’s sweet.
Guy: I’m joking, you don’t look like you do any running.
I like to commit arson as a recreational activity, you?
Everyone makes mistakes. Like my mom, she made a mistake 13 years ago.
Do you know what Fortnite was like before season 2 chapter 3? They put the Foundation / The Rock in the water where aliens were that season.
Yo mamma so fat that she like that ocean, we haven't even explored 5% of her yet.
You’re looking pretty rough this evening. You look like if sweatpants were a person.