Like jokes
Your hairline looks like the stairway to hell.
Bent and far back.
A phone is like parents. Not everyone has one.
What will happen if someone kicks you right in the balls?
You will be like, "Ow, my nuts!"
What looks like peanut butter and jelly, and makes a woman scream?
Afterbirth.
Say this to your significant other (or your weird friends!)
Are you an unsafe staircase? 'Cause you look like you could use a railing.
Why do people in Alabama like peanut butter and jelly?
Because it's in bread.
Why is life like penises?
Women make it hard.
How is the world like dirt?
Because we don't think twice about it.
Donald Trump is, like, really orange.
Best way to kiss someone is to lick inside their mouth with your tongue a lot of times, and they will really like it, especially me!! - lizard kiss+ french kiss= SloBbY Kiss.
Thanks for learning and getting advice.
Also, don't be such a horny one!
Orphans got me like: 😂
Why that Nun didn't like Virgin Mary?
Because she was straight into Jesus.
Cindy goes up to her dad and says: "Daddy, can I have $100 for a new dress?"
Her dad almost gags and says: "$100! You're only 12, what do you want with such an expensive dress?"
Cindy says: "Well daddy, I'll look really pretty in it and I promise to look after it ..."
Dad gives in and says: "OK, give me a head-job then".
He flops it out and Cindy just get the end in her mouth and goes: "Eeee-yooo - that taste's like shit!"
Dad goes: "Well, your brother wanted to borrow the car this afternoon ..."
A bullet is like an arrow.
Nothing can stop it from going through your head.
Yo hairline so long, it makes you look like Mr. Clean.
I would like to die like my Islamic father, in his sleep, but not like the rest of the people in the plane or those in those identical towers.
Why does Tesco like midgets?
Every little helps.
I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very egg-citing, although, I was exaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then you’re hard-boiled. That’s all for today, yolks! So I said before several cats starting fighting, that sh*t was a catastrophe. These kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be kitten me.” Meanwhile, in the ocean, they just waved, see what I did there? You shore you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too deep for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had no body. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He boned her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.
Why don't heterosexual 👨 👨 👨 👨 👨 👨 👨 suck a 🍌 because 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌 tastes like 🐙?
I hate likebeggars. They are just writing some stupid "like if" shit just to get attention. I mean, that's so lazy, so unoriginal, and stupid.
Anyways, can this get 100 likes, please?