Like jokes

1 like = 1 more child in my fryer.

A couple were trying new things in the bedroom to spice up their marriage. The husband would blindfold the wife, put on a condom and she would guess the flavor. They did this one time a night.

The first night, she put the blindfold on and he put the condom on his dick and she tasted it, she immediately knew it was strawberry. The second night, the same thing happened except it was banana. The third night, she put the blindfold on and tasted his dick and said, "Eww it tastes like cheese and onions." The husband replied, "Hang on I haven't put the condom on yet."

I'll never forget how my grandmother died. "This lemonade tastes like bleach..."

Dark jokes are like clean water, not everyone gets it.

What kind of woman does Bill Cosby like the most?

The “cold and passed out” kind.

Weather is like sex. Once in a while you need to get wet.

Why did the rape victim think it was Christmas?

Because her clothes were torn off like wrapping paper.

Women are like iPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberrys, rub one ball and everything moves!

Hey, I know this is a classic joke but I found it pretty funny!

"My name is 4, four like the number," my friend said. "What, was 1 2 3 taken?"

I can even with it but I was bored and decided to share this.

What's an orphan's favorite part in the Wizard of Oz?

When Dorothy says, "There's no place like home."

Look, I didn't hit rock bottom. I gracefully floated down there like Mary Poppins with an umbrella.

Why do rapists and pedophiles never win a race?

Because they always like to come in a little behind.

Son: Dad, I had sex for the first time.

Dad: Would you like to talk about it?

Son: Sure.

Dad: Sit down and let's talk about it.

Son: I can't, my butt hurts.

What game do zombies like to play?

Corpse and Robbers.

I don't understand why, when I went to the shooting range today, the police came. Like, bro, I always go to elementary schools.

I hate jokes about 9/11... every joke has the tendency to crash and burn.

"I didn't get the joke at first, but then it hit me like a plane," the joke was so dark a cop almost shot it.

Guys, we should not make fun of 9/11. Like, that stuff is just plain out crazy. Like, you all should not let that fly.

Life is like a film; it goes on, but you can cut at any time.

You want to know the bad thing? Only 5 out of 6 people like Russian roulette.

My best friend is transgender; she transitioned from a man into a woman. I think it's courageous of her to take a pay cut like that.