Like jokes

So there I was, having a fantastic time going down on my nan.

When suddenly I got a nasty taste in my mouth.

"Wait a minute," I said. This distinctly tastes like horse semen.

Then it clicked.

"Ah, so that's how you died."

So, a daughter goes to her dad and says, "Daddy, can I borrow the car?" He then tells her, "You know what to do." So then she proceeds to suck him off, almost immediately pulls out in disgust, and says, "Ugh, tastes like shit." Her dad then said, "Damn, I forgot your brother took the car."

1 like = 1 more child in my fryer.

A couple were trying new things in the bedroom to spice up their marriage. The husband would blindfold the wife, put on a condom and she would guess the flavor. They did this one time a night.

The first night, she put the blindfold on and he put the condom on his dick and she tasted it, she immediately knew it was strawberry. The second night, the same thing happened except it was banana. The third night, she put the blindfold on and tasted his dick and said, "Eww it tastes like cheese and onions." The husband replied, "Hang on I haven't put the condom on yet."

I'll never forget how my grandmother died. "This lemonade tastes like bleach..."

Dark jokes are like clean water, not everyone gets it.

What kind of woman does Bill Cosby like the most?

The “cold and passed out” kind.

Weather is like sex. Once in a while you need to get wet.

Women are like iPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberrys, rub one ball and everything moves!

Hey, I know this is a classic joke but I found it pretty funny!

"My name is 4, four like the number," my friend said. "What, was 1 2 3 taken?"

I can even with it but I was bored and decided to share this.

Why do rapists and pedophiles never win a race?

Because they always like to come in a little behind.

Look, I didn't hit rock bottom. I gracefully floated down there like Mary Poppins with an umbrella.

What's an orphan's favorite part in the Wizard of Oz?

When Dorothy says, "There's no place like home."

Why do French people eat snails?

Because they don’t like fast food.

Q: How are Clocks like Pedophiles? A: They both stop at 12.

Son: Dad, I had sex for the first time.

Dad: Would you like to talk about it?

Son: Sure.

Dad: Sit down and let's talk about it.

Son: I can't, my butt hurts.

My dad’s nickname for me is ‘Tiger’.

Now, my wrists look like a tiger.

Me: I found a group of furries in the woods.

Voice in back: Well, it looks like we're going huntin'.

My best friend is transgender; she transitioned from a man into a woman. I think it's courageous of her to take a pay cut like that.

Why do Black people go to a confession stand at the Catholic Church?

They wanna know what it’s like to speak to a father.