Like jokes

Broccoli says, "I look like a tree."

Walnut says, "I look like a brain."

Cashew says, "I look like a kidney."

Banana says, "Can we change the topic please?"

Like if your best friend is emo. *repost* or like if you have a best friend.

Why is that kid walking like that? Oh, he's an alter boy.

The thing I don't like about shopping centers...

When you see one, you've seen a mall.

So there I was, having a fantastic time going down on my nan.

When suddenly I got a nasty taste in my mouth.

"Wait a minute," I said. This distinctly tastes like horse semen.

Then it clicked.

"Ah, so that's how you died."

Like if you have a boyfriend, girlfriend, or husband, or wife, or a crush.

My autistic son hates taking baths or showers.

I don’t blame him, I don’t like soggy vegetables either.

1 like = 1 more child in my fryer.

A couple were trying new things in the bedroom to spice up their marriage. The husband would blindfold the wife, put on a condom and she would guess the flavor. They did this one time a night.

The first night, she put the blindfold on and he put the condom on his dick and she tasted it, she immediately knew it was strawberry. The second night, the same thing happened except it was banana. The third night, she put the blindfold on and tasted his dick and said, "Eww it tastes like cheese and onions." The husband replied, "Hang on I haven't put the condom on yet."

Dark jokes are like clean water, not everyone gets it.

I'll never forget how my grandmother died. "This lemonade tastes like bleach..."

What kind of woman does Bill Cosby like the most?

The “cold and passed out” kind.

Weather is like sex. Once in a while you need to get wet.

Women are like iPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberrys, rub one ball and everything moves!

Hey, I know this is a classic joke but I found it pretty funny!

"My name is 4, four like the number," my friend said. "What, was 1 2 3 taken?"

I can even with it but I was bored and decided to share this.

Why do rapists and pedophiles never win a race?

Because they always like to come in a little behind.

Look, I didn't hit rock bottom. I gracefully floated down there like Mary Poppins with an umbrella.

My parents were concerned when I said I like to bleed, but at least I cut my risk of cancer and stroke in half.

Why do French people eat snails?

Because they don’t like fast food.

Why do Black people go to a confession stand at the Catholic Church?

They wanna know what it’s like to speak to a father.