So I ran into a woman the other day who says her vaginas is like a lottery ticket. She said it's because you have to be lucky to hit it... I thought it's because she was always scratching it.
Like Jokes
Why are Muslims not fond of American cops?
Because Muslims don't like pigs!
Like if you think rape jokes are funny.
10 Fun Facts.
1. You can't wash your eyes with soap. 2. You can't count your hair. 3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out. 4. You just tried number 3. 5. When you did number 3, you realized it's possible, only you look like a dog. 6. You're smiling right now because you were fooled. 7. You skipped number 5. 8. You just checked to see if there is a number 5. 9. Share this with your friends to have some fun too :-)
My dad is like my virginity. I lost him at 12.
How is having fun with a prostitute like bungee jumping?
You’re dead if the rubber breaks.
I saw a sign that said “Watch for children” and I thought, “That sounds like a fair trade.”
What's a skeleton's favorite plant? A bone-zai tree. But if they don't like that one, how about a s-pine tree?
Man, choking on sugar seems like the sweetest way to die.
A man walks into a bar and orders 3 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's got you down?"
The man says, "I just found out my niece is gay." The next day, he orders 4 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's got you down now?" The man says, "I just found out my son is gay."
The next day, he orders 6 shots of whiskey. The bartender says, "Got anybody who likes women?" The man says, "My wife does."
When I grow up, I wanna be like Lil Peep... Dead.
Yesterday I was fucking my sister, and she said, "You fuck a lot like dad." I said, "Really? Mum said that too."
Why do basketball players like cookies? Because they can dunk them!
Why do four polish heteroflexable men like to suck on four of the cow's udders? Because a bull has only one.
What do gay men like cocks?
🍦🍦🍦 they like the cream filling 😋
Why do emos like yo-yo's? Cos they get strangled by the string.
Why did God invent yeast infections? So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt too.
My life is like a broken pencil, it's pointless.
- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.
- How did the gay person die? Homicide.
- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.
- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.
- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.
- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.
- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.
Friends are like trees, they fall over if you hit them with an ax.
