Like Jokes

If you don ́t like my suicidal jokes, sorry man didn ́t know it cut that deep.

Looks like depression got the best of me! Don’t worry I’m already going under.

It's funny how Stephen hawking sounds like Stephen walking or Stephen talking but he can't do any of those things

Why do vegetarians give a anonymous blowjobs at the glory hole at a adult book store because they don't want anybody to find out that they like meat

I like my couches like my I like my women... Old, used, and big enough to fit 3 men.

Friends are like penguins.

If you stab a penguin, they die.

A professor was talking about the american dream. then, he asked the german exchange student if there was a german dream, to which the student replies "we did, but no one liked it."

When you're the only one nice to the quiet kid.

Kid: "I like you... don't go to school tomorrow."

Dating a striper is like eating a bag of chips in class.

Everyone looks at you in disgust. But deep down inside they want some too.

I think I banged a Chinese celebrity... She kept screaming “I’m Wei Tu Yung” like I was supposed to know the name.

my suicidal friend said he liked trains, so we took him to the tracks

In school, we learned that squirrels stick their nuts in trees. So, just like my uncle dave...

When I saw a girl sitting on the ground crying

When I asked her where her parents were, she cried louder

That’s why I like to volunteer in an orphanage

I don't like these Under tale jokes. They just don't make any Sans.

I hate people who get offended here, like seriously it's called dark humor for a reason

So I caught my girlfriend masturbating with a carrot. My first reaction was “Shit, I was gonna eat that later, but now it’s gonna taste like carrots!”

i hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though i think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldnt wanna hurt your funny bone, but i think your starting to get BONELY so ill stop pulling your leg. Now get out before i give you a bad time.