Like jokes

Your hairline [is] so bad it went down like the Twin Towers.

My girlfriend accused me of cheating. I told her she was starting to sound like my wife.

Does anyone know the song that goes like:

Nananana na na na, nananana na na na, nananana na, na na, na, na na na?

Why was the orphan walking through the neighborhood? I don't know, either. It's not like he has a home to go to.

I like my girls how I like my wine, 12 years locked in the basement.

Seat belts are like the condom for cars.

Your eyebrows run away like your dad.

Hi! I would like to befriend all the nice people on this website! (Watersharky, Gwen, Addison Banks, etc.)

This is why orphans are dangerous with cardboard. They either start eating it or making it into a house and hallucinating that they have a family.

So I threw out the cardboard and said, "You have to stay in reality. Fantasies aren't real. You can't and will never get a home."

Next day, they make cardboard parents, so I threw that away and said, "Pay attention to reality; you will never get parents."

Next day, they start acting like parents and tell me what to do. Again, I said, "Snap to reality. You will never be a parent!" The orphan responded with, "Oh, really?! How so?" I just simply said, "You don't have a house and parents. You literally like eating cardboard, and then you make parents out of it. You like to eat old people!"

"I have cancer," the doctor said. "I have 3 days to live," but I was like "fuck it" and killed him. The jury said, "I have life in prison." I shouted, "Yes!" He said, "Thank you, you saved my life!"

Slapped cheese on my white friend, told him I like cheese on my crackers.

I hate it when ever I bring a girl over, my parents don't care, but when I bring one of my friends that's a boy, they're like, "Keep the door open," and I'm gay.

Uranus? More like urine is gassy! (Uranus is urine, by the way.)

What do bees like with sushi?

Wasabee.

I fiddled your mum last night, she fucking moaned like a fucking wilder beast.

I seriously don't get why people in Alabama are angered that Mexican immigrants are taking their jobs. I mean, it's not like they are preventing your son from giving you a big, fat blow job.

1 like = 1 more missile aimed at a hospital.

Women are like rolls of toilet paper. They are either really cheap or expensive, you use them a lot, and they deal with a lot of sh*t.

Alright, riddle me this: I am loud and obnoxious, I like music that rhymes. I'm a fraction of the population, but commit half the crimes! What am I?

Of course Jesus wasn't a virgin! He obviously liked being nailed!