Light

Light jokes

Mum

    • When God said, "Let there be light," He saw your mum and said, "Let there be dark."

    Weed

    • Peaches-REMAKE-By-Justin Beiber and watersharky Music Productions-

    I got my peaches out in Georgia (oh, yeah, shit)

    I get my weed from California (that's that shit)

    I took my chick up to the North, yeah (badass bitch)

    I get my light right from the source, yeah (yeah, that's it)

    And I see you (oh), the way I breathe you in (in), it's the texture of your skin

    I wanna wrap my arms around you, baby, never let you go, oh

    And I say, oh, there's nothing like your touch

    It's the way you lift me up, yeah

    And I'll be right here with you 'til the end

    I got my peaches out in Georgia (oh, yeah, shit)

    I get my weed from California (that's that shit)

    I took my chick up to the North, yeah (badass bitch)

    I get my light right from the source, yeah (yeah, that's it)

    You ain't sure yet, but I'm for ya

    All I could want, all I can wish for

    Nights alone that we miss more

    And days we save as souvenirs

    There's no time, I wanna make more time

    And give you my whole life

    I left my girl, I'm in Mallorca

    Hate to leave her, call it torture

    Remember when I couldn't hold her

    Left her baggage for Rimowa

    I got my peaches out in Georgia (oh, yeah, shit)

    I get my weed from California (that's that shit)

    I took my chick up to the North, yeah (badass bitch)

    I get my light right from the source, yeah (yeah, that's it)

    I get the feeling, so I'm sure (sure)

    Hand in my hand because I'm yours

    I can't, I can't pretend, I can't ignore you're right for me

    Don't think you wanna know just where I've been, oh

    Done being distracted

    The one I need is right in my arms (oh)

    Your kisses taste the sweetest with mine

    And I'll be right here with you 'til end of time

    I got my peaches out in Georgia (oh, yeah, shit)

    I get my weed from California (that's that shit)

    I took my chick up to the North, yeah (badass bitch)

    I get my light right from the source, yeah (yeah, that's it)

    I got my peaches out in Georgia (oh, yeah, shit)

    I get my weed from California (that's that shit)

    I took my chick up to the North, yeah (badass bitch)

    (I get my light right from the source, yeah, yeah)

    I got my peaches out in Georgia (oh, yeah, shit)

    I get my weed from California (that's that shit)

    I took my chick up to the North, yeah (badass bitch)

    I get my light right from the source, yeah (yeah, that's it)

    I got my peaches out in Georgia (oh, yeah, shit)

    I get my weed from California (that's that shit)

    I took my chick up to the North, yeah (badass bitch)

    I get my light right from the source, yeah (yeah, that's it).

    Children

    • A couple has sex in the dark every single night.

    One night, the wife gets curious about what goes on, so they start f...ing, and she flicks the light on. When she flicks the light on, she catches him with a dildo playing with her pussy. She's so mad that she started ranting and raving. The husband says, "Honey, I know you're mad, and I'll explain the toy. Just do me one favor: explain the children."

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    • Light memes

    Kid

    • When we were kids, we used to be afraid of the dark.

    But when we grew up, the electricity bill made us afraid of the light!

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    • Shooter

    • VOTING FINAL This vote is for the best School Shooter joke of the month.

    LIKE: When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.

    DISLIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.

    Vote for the better joke and the Joke of the Month will be announced in the comments tomorrow.

  • 3

    • Van

    • Today we had the best adventure ever! We started playing in the yard and doing ramps in a party van!

    It all started when Timmy and I were playing in the yard and a white rusty van drove up to our yard. A nice man told us to get in. We said we would love to go, but our mommies wouldn't want us to go. The man said your mommies told me it was OK to come.

    We hopped in the back and sped away super fast! The man gave us some candy, but Timmy and I were not hungry, so we didn't eat it. We saved it for later. After a while, I was wondering where we were going. I was about to ask the man, but then there was a whooping sound and some flashing blue lights! "Hey they want to party with us!" Timmy yelled over the whooping. "Party van!" I yelled.

    Timmy and I started dancing and whooping and the van began driving faster, doing crazy race car stunts, and jumps! Then we noticed the lights and whooping were coming from some cars that were following us. The cars were black and white and said "P O L I C E” on the side.

    We started to wave to them, but then the van did a HUGE jump and we flew out of the back of the van to the side of the road into some dirt, but it didn't really hurt that much. The van drove off without us, and I was really sad. Then Timmy told me the dirt was perfect for making mud pies. I was happy again. We played in the dirt awhile, until some people dressed like firefighters found us and brought us home. And then you asked me what happened. "Isn’t that right mommy?"

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    • Lesbian

    • How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change anything.

    I am just kidding, you know gay jokes aren't funny, come on guys.

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    • Poetry

    • In the realm of poetry's grace, Where words dare to embrace, A request comes with a quirky plea, To give life to what the eyes may see.

    "Pussy lussy cussy," it begins, A playful phrase that surely spins, And though the words may raise a smile, Let's craft a verse that goes the extra mile.

    In free verse, we'll dance and sway, Allowing thoughts to have their say, For poetry knows no bounds or rules, It's a canvas for expression, where freedom fuels.

    But let's remember, dear friend, To keep our words kind and lend, Respect to all, in every line, For poetry's power can truly shine.

    So, let's journey on this poetic quest, With words that honor and truly impress, For in the realm of art and verse, We find beauty, in each line immersed.

    And though "Pussy lussy cussy" may make us smile, Let's seek inspiration that runs deep, mile after mile, For poetry's magic lies in its ability, To touch hearts, souls, and set thoughts free.

    In this short verse, may you find delight, As we paint with words, both bold and light, So let us write, with grace and art, A poem that sings straight from the heart.

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