I want diabetes so I can drink loads of Coke. - Louie Fennell 2018
Lesbians and blind women wear the same clothes.
What do a girl and a bar have in common?
A- Liquor in the front, poker in the back!
How do you get a hippie chick pregnant?
You cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the gay guy's house. Knock, knock. Who's there? Chicken.
Yo momma so fat, her four kids use her as a bed and her fat rolls as cozy blankets.
The only thing I do straight is vodka.
How do you fit three gay guys on a bar stool?
Flip it upside down.
Two gay guys are in a burning building, who gets out first? The one on the top or the bottom?
The bottom because his sh*t's already packed.
What do you call a gun that doesn't kill anyone?
- A VEGUN.
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn't last as long for fat people.
What kind of cigarettes does a hippie smoke?
Yours.
How do you know a hippie is on her period?
Her socks are missing.
How do you know she's off?
Her socks are tye-dye.
Why is there no open hunting season on hippies?
Have you ever tried to clean one?
What's the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? The hockey player showers after 3 periods.
Why is the lesbian lifestyle so expensive? -- They're always eating out.
... and they buy Rolexes for their neighbors, because they wanna watch.
What's the number one pick up line at a gay bar?
"May I push your stool in?"
Have you ever tried sex when camping?
It's f***ing intense.
How do you know if someone is a vegan or has run a marathon?
They'll tell you.
