Lifestyle jokes
A hobo couple is making out under a bridge.
The girlfriend goes: - Johnny, why is your dick so soft? - Flip me over, I’m trying to shit!
How many emos does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just cry in darkness.
Why do emos cut their arms? Because they can't cut the rope.
What's the difference between a coat hanger and an emo?
Nothing, they both hang.
Fake emo: when I’m sad, I cut myself.
Real emo: same.
Fake emo: another piece of cake.
Why can’t an emo have sex?
They can’t make it to the bed, they kept swinging on the tree.
Nancy be like, "Don't do drugs, do cock!"
What is the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid?
"I like ya cut G" means two different things.
What does an emo kid and pizza have in common?...... The pizza doesn’t cut itself.
I wanted to play Fruit Ninja, but remembered I don’t have a phone. Guess I gotta draw fruit on my arm!
What's a cannibal's favourite drink?
A Bloody Mary.
You're like a cat, all you do is eat and sleep.
Who can jump the highest?
Emos, some of them are still in the air.
How do emos like their meat cooked?
Medium rawr.
Your mama so fat when she sits on the toilet it sings, "ABC, 123, get your fat ass off of me!"
How does a cannibal like his meat?
Human.
Yo mama so fat, that’s why people don’t want to marry her, except for fat guys.
If girls are vegan, why do they suck dick?
If some girls are vegan, then why do they suck dick?
Did you know emo kids are the highest jumpers in the world? Some are still up there!