Lifestyle jokes

What is the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid?

"I like ya cut G" means two different things.

What does an emo kid and pizza have in common?...... The pizza doesn’t cut itself.

I wanted to play Fruit Ninja, but remembered I don’t have a phone. Guess I gotta draw fruit on my arm!

What's a cannibal's favourite drink?

A Bloody Mary.

You're like a cat, all you do is eat and sleep.

Who can jump the highest?

Emos, some of them are still in the air.

How do emos like their meat cooked?

Medium rawr.

Your mama so fat when she sits on the toilet it sings, "ABC, 123, get your fat ass off of me!"

How does a cannibal like his meat?

Human.

Yo mama so fat, that’s why people don’t want to marry her, except for fat guys.

If girls are vegan, why do they suck dick?

If some girls are vegan, then why do they suck dick?

Did you know emo kids are the highest jumpers in the world? Some are still up there!

I'm not fat!!

I'm a Nutritional Overachiever.

Abortion isn't murder, it's just canceling a pre-order.

Q: What do you call a gay cowboy?

A: A jolly rancher.

The cannibal says to the other cannibal, "I like it when humans fall from the sky because then they are meateor."

Yo mama's so fat, her pad is a king-size mattress.

Why is it bad to high five an emo?

They will leave themselves hanging.

How do homeless people punish their children?

What are their children going to do? Go to their room?