Lifestyle

Lifestyle Jokes

Rhyme

Bitch, I can make orange rhyme with banana. BORNANA.

Eating pork rinds, sword fightin' in pajamas at the crib playin' Fortnite with your grandma.

Postman

Someone walks up to his dad and says, "Dad, what’s the difference between potentiality and reality?" Soo ok, the dad says to the son, "Go ask your mother, sister, and your brother if they’d sleep with the postman for $1,000,000." So the son comes back 5 minutes later and said, "Dad, they all said they would sleep with the postman." So, son, potentially, we have a million dollars, but in reality, we have two sluts and a gay one."

Sex

Haven't had sex since I got out of jail; although sex in jail wasn't that great, either.

Emo

What do you call two emos spending time together?

Hanging out.

Emo

How many emos does it take to fix a light?

I don't know because they never came down.

Gay

I'm so glad I am not gay. It seems like a pain in the ass.

LOL.

Emo

What do emo boys and emo girls have in common? They both wanna die and cut so they can die faster, but they are already dead, already dead to me!

Emo

What game can an emo play on their wrists without an ink pen?

Tic-tac-toe.

Ex

When you're so rich that you can buy anything, you end up getting a cow in your living room. Yeah, anyways, my ex is still in my living room.

Smoking

I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames.

Emo

What happens to Emos when they go up?

They never come down.

Kid

What happens to emo kids when they go up?

They never come down.

Home

What does a stray cat/dog have in common?

Both of them don't have a home!