Lifestyle jokes
When you're so rich that you can buy anything, you end up getting a cow in your living room. Yeah, anyways, my ex is still in my living room.
I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames.
What happens to Emos when they go up?
They never come down.
What happens to emo kids when they go up?
They never come down.
I'm gay and an orphan.
Your mom is emo, Deacon.
What do emos do when they meet up?
They hang out.
What do Emos say when they trick-or-treat?
"Boo-hoo!"
Who is your mum?
An emo.
What does a stray cat/dog have in common?
Both of them don't have a home!
If two stoners get married, do they have joint assets?
I wish my grass was emo so it would cut itself.
What do you get when you cross between Tailga and emo?
Tailighmo.
What is an emo's most hated game? Hangman.
Because it's rubbing it in their face that they can't hang themselves.
What do you call a flat emo?
A cutting board.
Why did the nerd get scared of the emo? Because the nerd likes to leave the emo hanging.
Why do orphans like emos?
Reverse "emo" and put an "h" in the beginning.
How do emos fly? They hang themselves.
If I saw a homosexual or transsexual man do so much as TOUCH my child, he would be dead, zombified, and castrated by the end of the day.
Protect your young'uns from these degenerate freaks and live off the grid so they have no bearing on your life.
My Emo friend was coming over to my house. When he got there, he said, "Got a rope?" I asked why, and he said, "I want to make a swing."