Life Jokes

Me: Help, I'm stuck in a trap.

Friend: What kind?

Me: It's called life. Yeah, I've been trying to get out of it for six years now, it just won't let me go.

Friend: That's not funny..

Me: Yeah? Nor is wanting to die, yet I'm still over here laughing every time I try to.

Friend: I'm calling your mom.

Me: She knows.

Friend: What's she doing to help, then?

Me: She's supposed to help?

Friend: Have you told your dad?

Me: I will when he comes back.

Friend: Where is he?

Me: I don't know, he's been gone for 15 years.

Friend: ....

Me: What?

Friend: Why?

Me: Why what?

Friend: Why would you joke like that?

Me: I was joking..

Friend: I know.

Me: Oh. I didn't know.

Friend:...

Me: Have a nice day, I'll see you tomorrow... Maybe...

Why didn't the kid cancer patients like his joke?

He said, "You'll understand when you get older!"

I could be red, I could be orange, I could be yellow, I could be green, I could be blue, I could be purple, but I would be dead.

What's the difference between a dad and an Emo?

They both don't last a while.

What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? You're not dead.

What's the difference between a prisoner and an orphan?

One is loved.

Me testing if there is fall damage in real life (falls off of a cliff, uses water bucket trick) dies.

Give a man a plane ticket, and he’ll fly for a day.

Push a man from a plane, and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.

"Like if u cry everytime."

How is sex like air?

It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.

I am not making a noose; I am making an unsubscribe button for life.

Has anyone alive ever died?

Is this our eternal life?

I am going to be a ghost for Halloween. I actually want to be a ghost every day, because at least I'd be dead.

Why did the emo person cross the road?

TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE Haha.

Haha, the joke is me.

Why did the orphan cross the road?

Because there was a dad on the other side.

ATTENTION EVERYBODY: I am the owner of this website, and I will be deleting it in 5 hours. Thank you everybody who has participated in this website's life. Goodbye!

Parents are like food—not all kids get them.

I hate people that hate life.

Me at the same time: Is cutting self at night.

*hides scars* *acts like I'm fine* hehe

I hear you like funny people. In fact, my whole life's a joke!