Life jokes
Don't worry if you think your life sucks. Just remember that people are arguing over the gender of a potato head.
Kobe never died, he just faded away.
What has 2 arms but no legs?
A crippled woman with no more meaning in her life.
My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology. I call him a hypocrite and unplug his life support. 😄😆🔥👍
A man marries a blonde chick, lives a happy life together, and the man asks his wife if she wants kids. She says "yes".
So, a couple of years go by, and they have one boy and one girl. They go to school, go home with their report cards, and the dad asks what their grades were. The son says he's not doing well, same with the daughter. They ask why they're doing so bad in school, and the dad replies with "ask your mother that question!"
I will tell you a joke--your life.
What might an aborted child want for Christmas?
..... a home that isn't a bin.
Drinking coffee when you're anxious is about as effective as using gasoline to put out a fire, but slurp slurp guess who's an anxious bitch who never learns.
What did my grandpa say after he kicked the bucket?
Nothing, I unplugged his life support before he said a word.
BF: Babe, I have two questions.
GF: Ok, ask!
BF: Where have you been all my life?
GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?
BF: Can you please go back there?
This is not a joke, nor did I come up with it.
If somebody calls you ugly, just hug them and say, "Life must be hard for you since you have visual impairment!"
What do your teacher and your friend have in common?
They will both die eventually.
What's worse than a bag of dead babies? One at the bottom is still wriggling.
My life </3 XD :'(
He never has a bad day because he always wakes up on both sides of the bed.
Today, I operated on a little girl. She needed O-negative blood. We didn’t have any, but her twin sister has O-negative blood. I explained to her that it was a matter of life and death. She sat quietly for a moment, and then said goodbye to her parents. I didn’t think anything of it until after we took her blood and she asked, “So when will I die?” She thought she was going to give her life for her sister. Thankfully they both died.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Leave a man on a plane, and he flies for a day.
Throw a man off a plane, and he flies for the rest of his life.
Your life.
I can’t wait for collage....
5 min later, ight I’m gonna go kill myself.