Life jokes

I hear you like funny people. In fact, my whole life's a joke!

What happens when a depressed kid try’s to high-five a tree?

The tree leaves them hanging.

I am not making a noose; I am making an unsubscribe button for life.

Haha, the joke is me.

I am going to be a ghost for Halloween. I actually want to be a ghost every day, because at least I'd be dead.

"Like if u cry everytime."

Has anyone alive ever died?

Is this our eternal life?

Give a man a plane ticket, and he’ll fly for a day.

Push a man from a plane, and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.

Me testing if there is fall damage in real life (falls off of a cliff, uses water bucket trick) dies.

Why did the emo person cross the road?

TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE Haha.

What's the difference between a dad and an Emo?

They both don't last a while.

I could be red, I could be orange, I could be yellow, I could be green, I could be blue, I could be purple, but I would be dead.

What's the difference between a prisoner and an orphan?

One is loved.

Why did the orphan cross the road?

Because there was a dad on the other side.

ATTENTION EVERYBODY: I am the owner of this website, and I will be deleting it in 5 hours. Thank you everybody who has participated in this website's life. Goodbye!

Parents are like food—not all kids get them.

What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? You're not dead.

Let's say I was immortal. No matter what I did, I would be alive. But, the catch is I’m the least flexible and least strong person in the world.

Now, I get my head chopped off. What would I do? I would roll over to my headless body and figure out what it's like to suck my own dick.

I have a daily routine where I take a crap every morning at 6 AM, but wake up at 7 AM. And it's not even a joke.

Me and my friend's life story on a daily basis.