Life jokes
Why is life like penises?
Women make it hard.
Life is like a box of chocolates. It gets finished pretty quickly if you're a fat guy.
What did one ghost say to the other?
"Get a life!"
My mom told me to unplug all the electronics, so I unplugged my grandma's life support.
Hey, Kenya, what is your favorite song?
"Lonely."
I don't trust anything that bleeds for more than 5 days and is still alive.
I like plants, but then I decided to turn over a new leaf and branch out.
So I walk into Orchids Of Asia. I come out three minutes later with the best massage of my life. What's the catch? Aye, there, matey, the catch of the day be crabs.
Why was the dog so stressed out?
It had a ruff day.
I had fun.
Do not tell an orphan family meeting; they wouldn't get it.
I did a good walk, and I did a good job of it.
Dark humor is like having parents, not everybody gets them.
In life, some people have it harder than others.
That's why Viagra exists.
My grandma always looks at me when we go to a wedding and says, "You’re next!"
When we attend a funeral, I say, "You’re next!"
It's always the little things that make us laugh.
There was a very lazy person. He saw a banana peel in front of him while he was walking... and he said: “Oh God, protect me from falling!”
The pinnacle of loyalty is that an ant married an elephant, and after he died, she spent her entire life burying him :)
- Sometimes I feel like killing myself...
- But?
- ...
Imagine playing Subway Surfers in real life.
The creator's son tried that!
(My friends said to post this. I accept no responsibility.)