Life jokes
There's two reasons guys will hang themselves from the neck.
One is to escape the worthless masquerade of a life we pretend we have, and the second reason is to whack off.
The secrets of life.
Mac & Cheese.
What fell first, the feather or the depressed kid?
Q: The feather, the depressed kid is still up there.
I don’t see why people say that emo kids don’t like to hangout. I seen them hanging all day.
A dog walked into a tavern and said, "I can't see a thing. I'll open this one."
The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.
What's the difference between an orphan and a baseball?
One gets picked for games.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples actually get picked.
A dog walked into a tavern and said, “I can’t see a thing. I’ll open this one.” The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.
What happens when there's ten people in one house and they all have to shit and there's one bathroom?
It's a motherfucking shitshow party!
I am an orphan...
I've recently been treated with Asthma and have been prescribed penicillin. One day I was taking it and a man screaming "SUIII" came into the room and stole it! He thought the penicillin would give him penalties. I couldn't breathe, shame on you Penaldo for ruining my life!
I wish I knew life, but my dad said it was a mistake to begin with.
Who needs Singles Day when you're single for the rest of your life!
What do you call an orphan's family region?
Me time.
This is not a joke, nor did I come up with it.
If somebody calls you ugly, just hug them and say, "Life must be hard for you since you have visual impairment!"
One morning I saw three kids were bullying one other kid because they didn't have a dad...
Later that day the three same kids were walking toward an orphanage. :)
Q. What is Terri Schiavo's favorite Eminem song?
A. "Till I Collapse."
Why is being alive so expensive? I'm not even having a good time.
Why do orphans not like Family Guy? Because they have family.
Jim was caught beating a man up. Brooklyn took a picture of his license plate with her phone and told him, "Your life is ruined!" So Jim took a picture of her, and the next thing you know, he said, "Now my phone is ruined!"