Life jokes
Life asked death, "Why do people choose you over me?"
Death replied, "Because you're the beautiful lie, and I'm the painful truth."
If reincarnation is correct, if you die now, you can be reborn and live a second life. If you were born in Ukraine, you can immediately live a third life.
Q: Why is it good being an orphan?
A: Because the family sized bag is all there's.
Why is the orphan sad for dinner?
He has no one to eat with at the table.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples actually get picked.
Memes
A dog walked into a tavern and said, “I can’t see a thing. I’ll open this one.” The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.
Why did an orphan say, "I'm wanted?" Because they wanted to feel a lie in their life.
A dog walked into a tavern and said, "I can't see a thing. I'll open this one."
The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.
What's the difference between an orphan and a baseball?
One gets picked for games.
What happens when there's ten people in one house and they all have to shit and there's one bathroom?
It's a motherfucking shitshow party!
What do you call an emo kid playing with fire?
Forgot to clean little piece of dust.
What's the difference between an orphan and a toy?
One is played with.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? They don't know where home is.
Anthony Blinken's life sucks, and getting COVID-19 positive is the only positive thing that ever happened in his entire life!
Q. What is Terri Schiavo's favorite Eminem song?
A. "Till I Collapse."
What did the orphan do when he got punched?
Nothing, because his parents weren't there! :)
This is not really a joke, but it's a question.
If life is a movie, then is death life? Is we seeing the trailer right now?
Why is being alive so expensive? I'm not even having a good time.
Why couldn't the orphan have the bag of chips?
It was family size.
Give a man a potato, he is full for a day.
Give a man a poisoned potato, he'll be full for the rest of his life.