Life jokes

Life asked death, "Why do people choose you over me?"

Death replied, "Because you're the beautiful lie, and I'm the painful truth."

Why did the question come to life? Answer: The adding, subtracting, times, dividing by, and equals signs came to life and squished pages.

Have you heard about kids with AIDS?

It never gets old.

Orphan: My mommy and daddy love me.

Guy: Where are they then?

Orphan: In the eternal depths of [hell].

One day I was saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, “Yeah, what gave me away?” I said, “His parents.”

If you give Kobe Bryant a cigarette, he will be warm for a short time.

But he was set on fire in the helicopter crash, so now he's warm for the rest of his life.

Kid: Imagine being an orphan!

Parents: Look who's talking, not you 'cause you ain't got no one to talk to! *vanishes*

Kid: WAIT, WHAT!

April Fool's Day: Go tell an orphan their parents are back.

Orphan: Where... Oh.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I'm old enough to drive, for now I'm still alive, till I crash in that beehive!

Give a man a potato, he is full for a day.

Give a man a poisoned potato, he'll be full for the rest of his life.

Who wants to laugh about life with me?

What did one ghost say to the other?

"Get a life!"

Did you know the "f" in "orphan" stands for family?

Kid: There is no "f" in "orphan."

There is no family.

You could hold your breath for the rest of your life.

Think about it.

My mom told me to unplug all the electronics, so I unplugged my grandma's life support.

Hey, Kenya, what is your favorite song?

"Lonely."

I don't trust anything that bleeds for more than 5 days and is still alive.

Why is life like penises?

Women make it hard.

-->[]life death[]<--

I did a good walk, and I did a good job of it.