Life jokes
I told my sister that when you go to bed with an itchy butt, you're going to have smelly fingers in the morning, and I've never heard her laugh so hard in my life.
Friend: What goes up but not down?
You: Your age.
I am really hot, but I hate water. What am I?
God promised John that if he came in 1st, he would get an eternal life, but instead he came in 5th and got a kettle!
A chair came to life and said, "I'm alive!"
I said, "Yes, I know I am."
Your life? Wanna hear a sadder one?
My life.
How can you make a orphans hand bleed?
Real them to clap until there parent come home.
I air.
Person 1: A life.
Person 2: I don't get it.
Person 1: Exactly.
Everything.
What's the worst part about getting old?
Going to pull up the wrinkles in your socks, just to find out you're not wearing socks!
Life.
I'm the joke, bitch.
Your own life, hah!
My life. BAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHHA
Well, you know what they say, time flies when you're just a ball of anxiety and stress. :D
I know everything about Walt Disney! How he died, how his mom and dad died, how his kids died, when he was born, where he was born, and how he was born. 😏
Why was the orphan so successful? Because when they were told “go big or go home,” they only had one option.
Why can't orphans go outside?
Because their parents aren't there to watch them!
The penis has a sad life. His hair is always a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him.
He also stands up for kids who can't defend themselves.