Life Jokes

Bro told me this when he passed away.

I’m “Fading.”

The best night of my life was when I gave my virginity to my wife, and her last word was when she called me "Mommy" at the top of her lungs before I knocked her up 😍.

I dated an orphan and then later married him for 7 years until he told me he was an orphan.

afnshjrkf.

What’s a homeless person's favorite food?

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The image shows two side-by-side pictures of the same dog. On the left, the dog is snarling, and the text says, "My voice in real life." On the right, the dog is smiling with the text, "My customer service voice."

Yo mama eats so much that she spends her whole life on the toilet.

I'm gonna cut my life off.

"-Hey dude, you got some beef? You want some beef from me?"

"- No thanks... I'm vegetarian!"

My life is such an udder disappointment. What an udder failure!

My sexlife xddddddddd

Have you ever met a kid who’s so fat that they can’t even be accepted to “My 600lb Life”? They need a higher-ranking one!

You have 10 to live.

“Wait, as in 10 minutes?”

10, 9, 8...

"Morbidity, the story of my life in one joke."

Hey guys. I just wanted to say, while I think some rape jokes can be funny, not one of these are. In fact, I find them pretty horrifying.

I was raped when I was fourteen (about six years ago), and I have made one rape joke in my entire life when, last year, I said "I don't fuck with rapists, I just get fucked by them." I thought it was funny. No one else did, and they were probably right in that.

My point is this: rape jokes CAN be funny when they are used by victims as a way of coping with trauma. They CANNOT be funny when they are made about raping someone else. Even if there is a difference between joking about raping someone and raping someone, it is absolutely disgusting to think such a horrific crime is funny, and I am sure at least some of the posters on this page have already crossed the line into committing rape.

Great material for social scientific research, though, gentlemen. Really well done.