Life jokes
Your life, that's all.
What's the difference between an orphan and a baseball?
One gets picked for games.
My current love life is like a god. It’s not real.
Shit, I’m never gonna try to commit suicide again. I almost died!
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Your love life.
I’m taken, taken my own life, bitch!
Why did the Orphan punch the other orphan?
Because the orphan broke his leg then had to get a retirement fund, so then he farted and got 1m dollars in cash, so then he started eating his toe jam and thought it tasted really good, so he started selling it to Taco Bell, then ate a cow. All the sudden he was attacked by hangry aliens then gave them some toe jam. They loved it, so they farted there way back up to space where they were eating Harold's fresh toe jam. It was so good, then one of the aliens ate there dog, so had to go the dollar tree to get it out then started gagging on one of the aliens' 2 meter defeater, and then the Orphan made out with the other Orphan and had a wedding at playground sharting happily ever after.
What instrument do orphans play?
The sax alone.
You die. LOL!
My friend was feeling low today, so I went up to her and said, "You know, I would hang in there if I was you, swaying through life." I don't think she likes me now.
Joke: Tori’s boyfriend's life 😂😂
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd-shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.
As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"
What does a knife have but not my life...
A point.
If you ever feel useless... Just remember that if you ever feel useless... Just remember that it took the US 4 presidents, trillions of dollars, thousands of lives, and 20 years to replace the Taliban with... the Taliban.
What does the F in orphan stand for?
FAMILY 😭😭
*IT'S DEPRESSING THIS PAGE EXISTS*
Q: What is the difference between a dead body and an orphan?
A: The dead body had a family.
I walked past an orphanage, the orphans started to call me names, and I said, "At least I have a family!"
Why do orphans hate Batman the movie?
Because at least he gets noticed by people, and also he stole their life story!
Who needs Singles Day when you're single for the rest of your life!
What’s the only advantage of being an orphan?
Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.