Life jokes
Everything.
What's the worst part about getting old?
Going to pull up the wrinkles in your socks, just to find out you're not wearing socks!
I'm the joke, bitch.
Life.
I am really hot, but I hate water. What am I?
God promised John that if he came in 1st, he would get an eternal life, but instead he came in 5th and got a kettle!
Why did Playboi Carti’s partner complain about their love life? Because he kept repeating the same track and never reached the climax.
What's the difference between a child and a cancer diagnosis? At least the cancer grows up and leaves eventually.
Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?
Because it was made by the same company that made their life decisions.
My life. BAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHHA
She asked me if I was hung like a horse, but I said no.
I'm hung like a person who wants to die, but then the rope broke.
What goes up but never comes down? Your age. You have probably heard this joke before.
When people ask my age, this is what I do.
“🥱 I DON’T CARE.... ÆAHAHAHAHAHAÆAAÆ!”
Confusion life question!!!
* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?
Yo mama so stupid, your mama thinks that VR is real life.
Cereal is like... breakfast soup made out of corn flakes.
Ketchup is like... a smoothie because of the tomato.
Coffee is like... a bean drink energizer.
My life is like... the shoe rack-
Beethoven composed his whole life.
What did he do in the afterlife? He decomposed! Har har har har har har.
There once was a man who beat his wife, And before he even knew it, he ended her life. His hands were a mess, all red and bloody, He had to find somewhere to hide the body.
What do you call an orphan when they eat a meal? A family dinner.
If you got a bowling ball and you stuck it on top of a sack of potatoes, what would you get?
A "retiree."