Life jokes

Beethoven composed his whole life.

What did he do in the afterlife? He decomposed! Har har har har har har.

You're so poor. You're just PO, you can't even afford the other O and R.

Confusion life question!!!

* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?

Yo mama so stupid, your mama thinks that VR is real life.

Cereal is like... breakfast soup made out of corn flakes.

Ketchup is like... a smoothie because of the tomato.

Coffee is like... a bean drink energizer.

My life is like... the shoe rack-

Guess whose parents didn't survive?

Liv's parents.

Couldn't be me being an orphan.

Go touch some grass, bro.

What's the difference between a baseball game and an orphan?

There's a home to go back to.

I've reached the age where looking in the mirror is like checking the news. I know there'll be some new developments I won't like.

I know everything about Walt Disney! How he died, how his mom and dad died, how his kids died, when he was born, where he was born, and how he was born. 😏

There once was a man who beat his wife, And before he even knew it, he ended her life. His hands were a mess, all red and bloody, He had to find somewhere to hide the body.

If you got a bowling ball and you stuck it on top of a sack of potatoes, what would you get?

A "retiree."

She asked me if I was hung like a horse, but I said no.

I'm hung like a person who wants to die, but then the rope broke.

What goes up but never comes down? Your age. You have probably heard this joke before.

What's the difference between a child and a cancer diagnosis? At least the cancer grows up and leaves eventually.

If I wanted to hear beeping, I wouldn’t have pulled my grandma’s cord to live.

Being pro-life.

Well, you know what they say, time flies when you're just a ball of anxiety and stress. :D

Why was the rapper always happy?

Because he lived life on the rhyme side!