Life jokes
A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words.
The man says, “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”
I will unplug your life support to kill my mum and then give her blood so she can bleed more.
Me: *finds out my dad's an orphan*
No one:
Literally no one:
Me: Time to make his life hell.😈
What is something that makes you wish you were dead, rips your skin off, is small, can wear you out in two seconds, betray you in any way possible, and can eat you alive?
Kid's.
What can you say about that homeless man's life and current status?
Wasted.
Memes
Orphan: "I get all the A pluses and y'all bad!"
And then I told him: "If you feel so special, try telling your parents. You can't, can you?"
I've been looking for my parents for years.
For the life of me, I can't remember where I hid their bodies.
Hey guys! I'm back! Sorry I didn't post yesterday! I had swim practice, and a bunch of homework, but here I am! And here is the quote of the day!
"Push yourself, because no one will do it for you."
Love y'all so much!
My best opinion: when life goes to hell, you just go down with it.
Everyone makes mistakes. Just ask your parents.
What's worse than 1 tree with 10,000 dead babies on it?
1 baby on 10,000 trees.
Your life, ahhahaha!
I've spent most of my life avoiding conflict. That's why I'm never intending to visit Syria.
I just wanted to say whoever is a faker pretending to be me, that you are literally ruining my life right now. And I can literally not take this right now in life and that I just want peace so please, please stop.
I went up to an orphan and asked where their parents were--they stared.
I told my sister that when you go to bed with an itchy butt, you're going to have smelly fingers in the morning, and I've never heard her laugh so hard in my life.
A chair came to life and said, "I'm alive!"
I said, "Yes, I know I am."
Friend: What goes up but not down?
You: Your age.
I am really hot, but I hate water. What am I?
God promised John that if he came in 1st, he would get an eternal life, but instead he came in 5th and got a kettle!