Life jokes
Beethoven composed his whole life.
What did he do in the afterlife? He decomposed! Har har har har har har.
There once was a man who beat his wife, And before he even knew it, he ended her life. His hands were a mess, all red and bloody, He had to find somewhere to hide the body.
Yo mama so stupid, your mama thinks that VR is real life.
Cereal is like... breakfast soup made out of corn flakes.
Ketchup is like... a smoothie because of the tomato.
Coffee is like... a bean drink energizer.
My life is like... the shoe rack-
"One man's trash is another man's treasure."
It's a wonderful phrase, but a terrible way to find out you're adopted.
Memes
Accurate.
"Buy a man an airplane ticket, he will fly once. Throw a man off an airplane and he will fly for the rest of his life."
- Sun Tzu
My friend: Hey, why are you always smiling?
Me: 'Cause life is a joke and we’re all slacking it off.
What do you call a graveyard full of disabled people?
A cabbage patch.
What do you call an orphan when they eat a meal? A family dinner.
If you got a bowling ball and you stuck it on top of a sack of potatoes, what would you get?
A "retiree."
If I wanted to hear beeping, I wouldn’t have pulled my grandma’s cord to live.
You're so poor. You're just PO, you can't even afford the other O and R.
Confusion life question!!!
* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?
Why was the rapper always happy?
Because he lived life on the rhyme side!
Why was the rapper always the life of the party?
Because they knew how to DROP the BEAT!
I’ve seen more life in a trampled garden gnome than in BLESSEDBRIAN’S jokes.
A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words.
The man says, “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”
Me: *finds out my dad's an orphan*
No one:
Literally no one:
Me: Time to make his life hell.😈
What is something that makes you wish you were dead, rips your skin off, is small, can wear you out in two seconds, betray you in any way possible, and can eat you alive?
Kid's.
What can you say about that homeless man's life and current status?
Wasted.