Life jokes
What's the difference between me and a corpse? I mean, I'm not dead... yet, right?
Life is never hard until you get hit hard with reality.
Couldn't be me being an orphan.
Go touch some grass, bro.
Being pro-life.
My friend: Hey, why are you always smiling?
Me: 'Cause life is a joke and we’re all slacking it off.
What do you call a graveyard full of disabled people?
A cabbage patch.
Why was the orphan so successful? They said "go big or go home," but he could not do the second.
I laughed at my life so hard.
Monster: “I will devour your family.”
Orphan: “Oh.”
Orphan: "I get all the A pluses and y'all bad!"
And then I told him: "If you feel so special, try telling your parents. You can't, can you?"
What is an orphan's favorite show?
"Full House."
What can you say about that homeless man's life and current status?
Wasted.
How many Emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they sit in the dark crying.
None, they sit in the dark cutting their wrists.
Why can’t orphans tell these jokes?
Because they're fun for the whole family to hear.
I've been looking for my parents for years.
For the life of me, I can't remember where I hid their bodies.
What is something that makes you wish you were dead, rips your skin off, is small, can wear you out in two seconds, betray you in any way possible, and can eat you alive?
Kid's.
A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words.
The man says, “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”
Me: *finds out my dad's an orphan*
No one:
Literally no one:
Me: Time to make his life hell.😈
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last as long for fat people.