Life jokes
I'm the joke, bitch.
Everything.
My entire existence.
What's worse than 1 tree with 10,000 dead babies on it?
1 baby on 10,000 trees.
Your life, ahhahaha!
Yo mama so stupid, your mama thinks that VR is real life.
Cereal is like... breakfast soup made out of corn flakes.
Ketchup is like... a smoothie because of the tomato.
Coffee is like... a bean drink energizer.
My life is like... the shoe rack-
When people ask my age, this is what I do.
“🥱 I DON’T CARE.... ÆAHAHAHAHAHAÆAAÆ!”
My mom: Your life could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer.
Me: I wish I were Tracy Latimer, then someone would kill me.
"One man's trash is another man's treasure."
It's a wonderful phrase, but a terrible way to find out you're adopted.
Me die.
Guess whose parents didn't survive?
Liv's parents.
Confusion life question!!!
* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?
Why can't orphans go outside?
Because their parents aren't there to watch them!
Everyone makes mistakes. Just ask your parents.
Hey guys! I'm back! Sorry I didn't post yesterday! I had swim practice, and a bunch of homework, but here I am! And here is the quote of the day!
"Push yourself, because no one will do it for you."
Love y'all so much!
The circular saw asked the chainsaw, "When am I as big as you?"
The chainsaw would answer with, "When you cut down some things in your life. Like your owner."
The circular saw would reply with, "What?"
My best opinion: when life goes to hell, you just go down with it.
Don't turn the toaster sideways, worst mistake of my life.
What do you call a graveyard full of disabled people?
A cabbage patch.