Life jokes
God promised John that if he came in 1st, he would get an eternal life, but instead he came in 5th and got a kettle!
I air.
Life.
What's the worst part about getting old?
Going to pull up the wrinkles in your socks, just to find out you're not wearing socks!
Your own life, hah!
Memes
Your life? Wanna hear a sadder one?
My life.
How can you make a orphans hand bleed?
Real them to clap until there parent come home.
My social life.
Person 1: A life.
Person 2: I don't get it.
Person 1: Exactly.
Everything.
My entire existence.
I'm the joke, bitch.
The circular saw asked the chainsaw, "When am I as big as you?"
The chainsaw would answer with, "When you cut down some things in your life. Like your owner."
The circular saw would reply with, "What?"
Why can't orphans go outside?
Because their parents aren't there to watch them!
Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.
Next day:
Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?
Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.
The dad sulked for 3 whole years.
Proof that words really can hurt.
What will make a depressed teenager happy?
A cliff.
Monster: “I will devour your family.”
Orphan: “Oh.”
What is an orphan's favorite show?
"Full House."
Why can’t orphans tell these jokes?
Because they're fun for the whole family to hear.
How many Emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they sit in the dark crying.
None, they sit in the dark cutting their wrists.