Don't turn the toaster sideways, worst mistake of my life.
Life Jokes
What do you call a graveyard full of disabled people?
A cabbage patch.
Life is never hard until you get hit hard with reality.
What's worse than dedicating your life to build back the towers? Doing it and getting terrorized for it...
How many Senators fans does it take to change a light bulb?
All 3 of them.
Hockey for life!
What do you call an orphan?
Kyan.
At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.
My friend: Hey, why are you always smiling?
Me: 'Cause life is a joke and we’re all slacking it off.
Why was the orphan so successful? They said "go big or go home," but he could not do the second.
End everything and your life, Steven Roca!
Why is death taken so lightly?
Because you can take it so quickly.
We forge the chains we wear in life.
What type of jokes do you tell an orphan?
Family jokes.
If you think your life is bad, then people are discussing the gender of Mr. Potato Head.
Not a joke?
More like not an existing organism in life.
I laughed at my life so hard.
Someone: "I got chickens out there vibin'."
Me: "What? Oh, you mean those over-sized chickens that just show an example of you in real life?"
Someone: . . .
What type of tea is hard to swallow?
Reality.
I say these jokes are life saving material. Who's with me?
What do you call a pig that does Karate?
