Life jokes
Wanna hear a joke?
My life.
She asked me if I was hung like a horse, but I said no.
I'm hung like a person who wants to die, but then the rope broke.
What goes up but never comes down? Your age. You have probably heard this joke before.
Why was the rapper always happy?
Because he lived life on the rhyme side!
Why was the rapper always the life of the party?
Because they knew how to DROP the BEAT!
I’ve seen more life in a trampled garden gnome than in BLESSEDBRIAN’S jokes.
Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?
Because it was made by the same company that made their life decisions.
Confusion life question!!!
* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?
Yo mama so stupid, your mama thinks that VR is real life.
My mom: Your life could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer.
Me: I wish I were Tracy Latimer, then someone would kill me.
The penis has a sad life. His hair is always a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him.
He also stands up for kids who can't defend themselves.
Life’s not a game... but if it was, some people would still be stuck on the tutorial.
What makes my life so unfair?
You invading it for no apparent reason.
What's the worst part about eating vegetables from the hospital?
The life support cord.
My life. BAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHHA
You're so boring that you make war veterans die quicker, and yet they're still on life support.
Well, you know what they say, time flies when you're just a ball of anxiety and stress. :D
If you got a bowling ball and you stuck it on top of a sack of potatoes, what would you get?
A "retiree."
"Buy a man an airplane ticket, he will fly once. Throw a man off an airplane and he will fly for the rest of his life."
- Sun Tzu
"One man's trash is another man's treasure."
It's a wonderful phrase, but a terrible way to find out you're adopted.