Life jokes

Someone: "I got chickens out there vibin'."

Me: "What? Oh, you mean those over-sized chickens that just show an example of you in real life?"

Someone: . . .

Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last as long for fat people.

End everything and your life, Steven Roca!

Why is death taken so lightly?

Because you can take it so quickly.

Why is death taken so lightly?

Because anyone can take it.

I just gotta come out and say it: I like miners, and I don’t care what y’all think. I mean the fact that they are risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. I’ve always wanted to marry one, to be honest. Y’all need to give more respect to the mining ⛏ community.

You're the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard.

I just wanted to say whoever is a faker pretending to be me, that you are literally ruining my life right now. And I can literally not take this right now in life and that I just want peace so please, please stop.

"I swear I'm the real Gwen! I swear on my life!"

I'm never going bungee jumping because a cord bridged me into the world. It's not taking me out.

Hey guys! I'm back! Sorry I didn't post yesterday! I had swim practice, and a bunch of homework, but here I am! And here is the quote of the day!

"Push yourself, because no one will do it for you."

Love y'all so much!

My best opinion: when life goes to hell, you just go down with it.

What will make a depressed teenager happy?

A cliff.

Monster: “I will devour your family.”

Orphan: “Oh.”

When people ask my age, this is what I do.

“🥱 I DON’T CARE.... ÆAHAHAHAHAHAÆAAÆ!”

My mom: Your life could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer.

Me: I wish I were Tracy Latimer, then someone would kill me.

Me die.

Guess whose parents didn't survive?

Liv's parents.

What's the worst part about getting old?

Going to pull up the wrinkles in your socks, just to find out you're not wearing socks!

I'm the joke, bitch.