Life jokes
Stephen Hawking is ALIVE!
Kid: Hey, why am I an orphan?
Adult: I don't know, ask your parents.
You die. LOL!
You know what the difference between Kobe Bryant and Russell Westbrook is?
He wears 0 and Kobe has 0 lives left.
A man came up to a girl about to jump off a cliff. The man said, "Why?" She then replies, "There are many monsters in this world, and I am one of them."
What's the difference between oxygen and children? I don't have oxygen in my basement.
What do you call an emo kid playing with fire?
Forgot to clean little piece of dust.
We forge the chains we wear in life.
Our teacher told us to write a story about the life of an object that's not alive, so I wrote a story about an emo kid.
The best night of my life was when I gave my virginity to my wife, and her last word was when she called me "Mommy" at the top of her lungs before I knocked her up 😍.
Before: Caring & Noble.
After: Chernobyl.
Why do orphans not tell when they get hit?
Because who are they gonna tell, their mom?
Why is death taken so lightly?
Because you can take it so quickly.
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Wait, they don't have any.
Why did the orphan live at school?
Because on the first day his parents didn’t pick him up.
What do suicidal people and apples have in common?
They both hang from trees.
Today I went to the doctor for a test, and he said I have 10 months to live.
So later that day I stabbed him to death, and the judge sentenced me for 15 years in prison. Problem solved!
My love life.
Why do my kids die?
Stinky Oussy :D
Kid: Knock knock!
Orphan: Who's there?
Kid: Not your parents XD