Life jokes
What are emo kids' least favorite lollies?
Life Savers.
Why did the pencil want to kill himself?
He had no point in life.
Do you want to give your life to God and be in Heaven?
My grandpa is an asshole. The fucker deserved to die. The son of a bitch was using his life support, and I needed to change my iPhone.
Wanna hear a joke?
My life.
Memes
She asked me if I was hung like a horse, but I said no.
I'm hung like a person who wants to die, but then the rope broke.
What goes up but never comes down? Your age. You have probably heard this joke before.
What's the difference between a child and a cancer diagnosis? At least the cancer grows up and leaves eventually.
Why did Playboi Carti’s partner complain about their love life? Because he kept repeating the same track and never reached the climax.
Your life? Wanna hear a sadder one?
My life.
Your own life, hah!
"Buy a man an airplane ticket, he will fly once. Throw a man off an airplane and he will fly for the rest of his life."
- Sun Tzu
Beethoven composed his whole life.
What did he do in the afterlife? He decomposed! Har har har har har har.
There once was a man who beat his wife, And before he even knew it, he ended her life. His hands were a mess, all red and bloody, He had to find somewhere to hide the body.
Confusion life question!!!
* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?
Yo mama so stupid, your mama thinks that VR is real life.
Cereal is like... breakfast soup made out of corn flakes.
Ketchup is like... a smoothie because of the tomato.
Coffee is like... a bean drink energizer.
My life is like... the shoe rack-
"One man's trash is another man's treasure."
It's a wonderful phrase, but a terrible way to find out you're adopted.
Me die.
My mom: Your life could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer.
Me: I wish I were Tracy Latimer, then someone would kill me.