Being pro-life.
Life Jokes
Couldn't be me being an orphan.
The circular saw asked the chainsaw, "When am I as big as you?"
The chainsaw would answer with, "When you cut down some things in your life. Like your owner."
The circular saw would reply with, "What?"
Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.
Next day:
Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?
Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.
The dad sulked for 3 whole years.
Proof that words really can hurt.
What will make a depressed teenager happy?
A cliff.
Monster: “I will devour your family.”
Orphan: “Oh.”
How many Emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they sit in the dark crying.
None, they sit in the dark cutting their wrists.
Why can’t orphans tell these jokes?
Because they're fun for the whole family to hear.
I've been looking for my parents for years.
For the life of me, I can't remember where I hid their bodies.
What is something that makes you wish you were dead, rips your skin off, is small, can wear you out in two seconds, betray you in any way possible, and can eat you alive?
Kid's.
A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words.
The man says, “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”
What is an orphan's favorite show?
"Full House."
What can you say about that homeless man's life and current status?
Wasted.
Orphan: "I get all the A pluses and y'all bad!"
And then I told him: "If you feel so special, try telling your parents. You can't, can you?"
I will unplug your life support to kill my mum and then give her blood so she can bleed more.
Life's a bitch, and then you die. I now see what they mean.
Me: *finds out my dad's an orphan*
No one:
Literally no one:
Me: Time to make his life hell.😈
I'll unplug your life support for my phone that's about to die.
What's the difference between me and a corpse? I mean, I'm not dead... yet, right?
What does a dick and an elderly person have in common? They are both short.
