Life jokes

Why don't you have a life?

Because you're ugly.

My grandpa is an asshole. The fucker deserved to die. The son of a bitch was using his life support, and I needed to change my iPhone.

Wanna hear a joke?

My life.

I just gotta come out and say it: I like miners, and I don’t care what y’all think. I mean the fact that they are risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. I’ve always wanted to marry one, to be honest. Y’all need to give more respect to the mining ⛏ community.

Why is death taken so lightly?

Because you can take it so quickly.

Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last as long for fat people.

Someone: "I got chickens out there vibin'."

Me: "What? Oh, you mean those over-sized chickens that just show an example of you in real life?"

Someone: . . .

What type of jokes do you tell an orphan?

Family jokes.

How many Senators fans does it take to change a light bulb?

All 3 of them.

Hockey for life!

What do you call a pig that does Karate?

I say these jokes are life saving material. Who's with me?

What type of tea is hard to swallow?

Reality.

We forge the chains we wear in life.

What do you call an orphan?

Kyan.

End everything and your life, Steven Roca!

What happened when the emo kid gave the tree a high five? It left him hanging.

Why is death taken so lightly?

Because anyone can take it.

Not a joke?

More like not an existing organism in life.

I laughed at my life so hard.

What does a dick and an elderly person have in common? They are both short.