Life jokes
Do you want to give your life to God and be in Heaven?
Why don't you have a life?
Because you're ugly.
Why did the pencil want to kill himself?
He had no point in life.
What kind of flour do orphans use to make bread?
Self-raising.
Orphans have 362 days in a year because they don’t have a Mother’s or Father’s Day and no birthday.
What do children with cancer and Russian soldiers have in common? Their life doesn't last long.
Abortion isn't murder.
It's backspacing a typo.
There was a fish looking for a great meal. He looks above him and sees a fly. He thought, "If that fly drops six inches, I would have a meal." Long story short, a pussy gets wet.
You are about to hear the funniest joke ever.
My life.
History teacher: "They had a temporary cure for the disease, but it would be years before they found a cure for life."
Student: "I need that."
Me and my life.
I'm life.
You wanna know what's a concept? An orphan being homeschooled.
Want to hear a joke?
My life. Get it?
Your family in a nutshell.
I have special needs, and I was born with it.
What's the resemblance between a microwave and human reproduction?
They both make a sound at the end.
What are emo kids' least favorite lollies?
Life Savers.
My grandpa is an asshole. The fucker deserved to die. The son of a bitch was using his life support, and I needed to change my iPhone.
Wanna hear a joke?
My life.