Life jokes
Ashley said to me one day, "What is my name?"
And I said, "My name is everyday life of stupidity."
If your parachute doesn't work, don't worry.
You have the rest of your life to figure it out.
Why do orphans like Monopoly?
To cry about the money they can’t earn in real life.
I was about to joke about your life, but I think your life is already a joke.
Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.
It’s like masturbation. Sometimes it’s not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. That’s what thighjobs are for.
Memes
Honestly
I’m rather relaxed about death.
From quite an early age, I’ve regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.
Bully: How’s your girlfriend?
Kid: I don’t have one. How are your parents?
Bully: *cries*
Kid: *Walks out of the orphanage*
What do children with cancer and Russian soldiers have in common? Their life doesn't last long.
What kind of flour do orphans use to make bread?
Self-raising.
Abortion isn't murder.
It's backspacing a typo.
What’s the difference between an emo and a pack of Oreos? The emo’s barcode gets longer every day.
There was a fish looking for a great meal. He looks above him and sees a fly. He thought, "If that fly drops six inches, I would have a meal." Long story short, a pussy gets wet.
Orphans have 362 days in a year because they don’t have a Mother’s or Father’s Day and no birthday.
What goes up but never comes down?
Yo life so miserable, the adoption center wouldn't sell you, just give you away!
All you pro-life Christian motherfuckers can go die, lol.
Life is better without my dad annoying me (him smacking me, screaming for something useless, limiting my screen time, and much more).
Do you want to give your life to God and be in Heaven?
Why did the pencil want to kill himself?
He had no point in life.
What are emo kids' least favorite lollies?
Life Savers.