Life jokes
Why would a cannibal stop eating people?
If they got fed up with them.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Not to see his parents.
Ask someone if they are a rhino. If they say yes, tell them "so you're horny." And if they reply yes again, block them from your life entirely.
What's the difference between an orphan and a flower?
The flowers actually get picked.
Kid: Hey, why am I an orphan?
Adult: I don't know, ask your parents.
If you execute someone in ventricular fibrillation in the electric chair, will they come back to life once and then die?
If the noose breaks, stab yourself!
If the knife is dull, shoot yourself!
If the gun's out of ammo, *YOU'RE HERE TO SUFFER ETERNALLY.*
Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.
It’s like masturbation. Sometimes it’s not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. That’s what thighjobs are for.
I’m rather relaxed about death.
From quite an early age, I’ve regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.
Bully: How’s your girlfriend?
Kid: I don’t have one. How are your parents?
Bully: *cries*
Kid: *Walks out of the orphanage*
Ashley said to me one day, "What is my name?"
And I said, "My name is everyday life of stupidity."
August 2020: LeafyIsHere gets terminated on Youtube for harassing Pokimane.
Billy, a toxic kid in Leafy's fanbase: "Imane's life is a joke, that's why I call her Jokeimane."
A person who simps for Pokimane: "And you look like you came from a farm, Hillbilly."
I don't get progressive leftists these days. They claim to be supporting BLM, but they aren't pro-life.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a flower?
One is beautiful.
My joke is your life support getting unplugged because my phone is about to die.
Orphan: Where are my parents?
God: New York City.
Orphan: But they used to live in China.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't reach home.
One time I fucked this chick so hard, she almost came back to life.
Gina: Ha! YOU HAVE NOTHING!
Orphan: Yes I do.
Gina: What do you have then?
Orphan: Parents.
Gina: LIAR!
What’s the difference between you and an orphan...
NOTHING!