Life jokes

Did you know an eraser on a pencil slowly dies from your mistakes?

And did you know you're actually supposed to live for 25 minutes, but every time you breathe, it resets time?

Why did the skeleton not go to the party? Because he had no body to go with.

We should enjoy the present while it's here. Do you know why they call it the present? Because it's a gift.

you play gatcha life more like go get a life.

A kid had school today.

He was late every single day. He said in his mind, "I wish I can go to school again." What happened? It's obvious...... He died :)

Dear Kenya, love of life,

Thanks for commenting on my jokes, and thanks for being a nice person to me! Love, Jaden. You can tell by the emojis 🥰😍❤️💞!

Love you a million times more!

What can you say about that homeless man's life and current status?

Wasted.

Life would be so much easier if grass was emo.

Because it would cut itself.

What do my clothes and a depressed person not have in common?

My clothes don't hang themselves...

In the morning, I become a cereal killer. Stepped on a corn flake.

Then there was the run-in with a pair of orphaned Rice Krispies. Snap. Crackle. No pop.

I've been taken into custody as a cereal offender and am about to be put on trial in Food Court. I fully expect them to sentence me to Life.

Why can orphans have sex?

They have no one to call "daddy."

Life asked death, "Why do people choose you over me?"

Death replied, "Because you're the beautiful lie, and I'm the painful truth."

What do you tell someone who has depression?

Answer: Just hang in there.

So, a woman gets into a car accident and is in the hospital, and the doctor goes on to tell the man what is going on.

Doctor: "So, your wife, she is paralyzed from the neck down."

And as the doctor goes on, he says all the things the man must do for her, like feed her, dress her, etc. Then the man says, "Why, WHY ME!"

Then the doctor leans over and whispers in the man's ear and says, "I'm just fuckin' with you, she's DEAD!"

My April Fool's joke is going to an orphanage and telling them their parents came back.

I really hate waiting to die... It's taking a lifetime.

His life.

I had a dad.

Roses are red, I don't know why, Living is hard, I want to die.

What does 9 and 36 add up to?

A life in prison.