Legs jokes
How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
Pick him up and sick his dick.
Johnny had 55 pineapples. He threw three at his friend. How many does he have now?
None, because he was pistol whipped then shot at point blank range with a sawed off shotgun covered in fluoroantimonic acid which burned a hole in his skull causing his brain to melt and rupture nerve cells all over his friends. Then his arms and legs were stuffed into a wheat thresher which was used to harvest the meat of the enslaved children. Then his corpse was molested.
This whole page is pure trash. Fuck all of you.
Why do flamingos sleep with one leg up?
Because if they slept with both legs up, they would fall over!
"Hi, Mrs. Jackson, can Matt come out and play?"
"Oh, Johnny, you know Matt doesn't have any arms or legs."
"I know, we just wanted to use him as third base."
What do you call a chicken with no legs? Ground chicken đ¤Łđđ Get WRAY'DDDDD!
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Because she had no arms."
"Why couldnât she get up off the ground?" "Because she had no friends."
"Knock knock." "Whoâs there?" "Not Susie, sheâs still on the ground."
"Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?" "Everywhere."
"Why couldnât Susie scratch her leg?" "Because it was in a different body bag."
"Why did Susie drop her ice cream?" "She was hit by a bus."
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Someone threw a refrigerator at her."
What is a cow on two legs?
Yo mama!
What has 2 legs and is red all over?
What was the guy with no arms, legs, or a head name?
Matt.
Spread my legs like butter n finger me hard. đ đ đ
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg, and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "Hey, youâve got a steering wheel on your pants."
The pirate says, "Arrrr, I know. Itâs driving me nuts."
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pitbull dog coming back from the kids playground.
What do an acting role and playing sports have in common?
If you break a leg, you get cast.
What do windows have in common with my wife's legs? They're easy to open.
Where did Stephen Hawking go when he broke his leg?
Hospital or Currys PC World?
Why do they tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every play has a cast.
Stephen Hawking is as broke as his legs.
If I had a sister with only 1 leg... wouldn't her name be I-Lean?
Why don't they put petals on wheelchairs so when our arms get tired, we just use our legs?