Why do flamingos sleep with one leg up?
Because if they slept with both legs up, they would fall over!
Legs Jokes
"Hi, Mrs. Jackson, can Matt come out and play?"
"Oh, Johnny, you know Matt doesn't have any arms or legs."
"I know, we just wanted to use him as third base."
What do you call a chicken with no legs? Ground chicken đ¤Łđđ Get WRAY'DDDDD!
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Because she had no arms."
"Why couldnât she get up off the ground?" "Because she had no friends."
"Knock knock." "Whoâs there?" "Not Susie, sheâs still on the ground."
"Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?" "Everywhere."
"Why couldnât Susie scratch her leg?" "Because it was in a different body bag."
"Why did Susie drop her ice cream?" "She was hit by a bus."
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Someone threw a refrigerator at her."
What is a cow on two legs?
Yo mama!
What has 2 legs and is red all over?
What was the guy with no arms, legs, or a head name?
Matt.
Spread my legs like butter n finger me hard. đ đ đ
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg, and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "Hey, youâve got a steering wheel on your pants."
The pirate says, "Arrrr, I know. Itâs driving me nuts."
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pitbull dog coming back from the kids playground.
What do an acting role and playing sports have in common?
If you break a leg, you get cast.
What do windows have in common with my wife's legs? They're easy to open.
Where did Stephen Hawking go when he broke his leg?
Hospital or Currys PC World?
Why do they tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every play has a cast.
Stephen Hawking is as broke as his legs.
If I had a sister with only 1 leg... wouldn't her name be I-Lean?
Why don't they put petals on wheelchairs so when our arms get tired, we just use our legs?
Why did Susie get cut from the soccer team? She has no legs!
Who broke into my house by kicking down my door? Not Susie... But she still is in my basement, since she can't run!
Doctor approaches a patient in Hospital and says, "I have some good news and bad news."
So the patient says, "What is the bad news?" the Doctor replies, "I have had to amputate both your legs." So the patient says, "Well, what is the good news?" The Doctor replies, "I have found someone to buy your slippers."
Three disabled guys (a blind man, an amputee, and a guy in a wheelchair) are flying back with the USA team from the Paralympic games in the Middle East when their plane crashes in the Sahara Desert. The three disabled guys (the only survivors) are now stranded and wait for someone to rescue them, but no one showed. They start to get real thirsty, so they decide to seek out water. The amputee leads the way, with the blind man pushing the guy in the wheelchair; and, eventually they find an oasis. The amputee leader goes into the water first, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he has a NEW LEG! He gets excited and encourages his friends to do the same.
The blind man offers to push the guy in the wheelchair, but he gets refused because the guy in the chair wants to be Mr. Independent and insists the blind man goes ahead first. So he goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he can SEE! Now the guy in the wheelchair's getting really excited, starts pushing with all his might, goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, and wheels out the other side. Lo and behold, NEW TIRES!!!
