What has fingernails and legs made of grass? You, I lied about the grass.
There once was a little girl named Sarah with no arms and legs.
*knock knock*
Who's there!
Not Sarah.
What do you say to a one-legged hitchhiker?
Hop in.
Why did the girl never go upstairs?
Because she had no legs.
A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!" And the doctor replied, "I know. I amputated your arms."
There were three Indians that got kicked out of the tribe.
One said, "Me find food," and he came back with a decent size rabbit. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see rabbit, me shoot rabbit, and rabbit fall down dead."
The 2nd Indian, "Me find food." He came back with a good sized deer. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see deer, me shoot deer, deer fall down dead."
The third Indian said, "Me find food." He came back crawling, missing a leg and an arm, and he was all cut up. The others asked what happened. He said, "Me see train, me shoot train, train no stop!"
What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?
Cancer.
What do you call a dog with no legs? -- Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? -- Because the cow has the udder.
What has a bottom at the top?
Your legs.
Most people think an octopus has 8 legs.
Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms?
Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says "Owwww" are his arms.
What do you call someone with one arm and no legs?
Names.
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
What's big, green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree, it can kill you?
A pool table.
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Where you left it.
