Legend jokes

They say Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer, too bad he doesn't cry.

You could say Kobe's career went up in smoke.

Jerry Garcia: I’m going on a TRIP today!

Bob Weir: Where are you going?

Jerry Garcia: I’m already on it. 😯🦄🌈

Adam and Eve are wondering whether they are black or white. Eve says, "Why don't you go and ask God?"

So Adam goes into the Garden of Eden and shouts out to God, "Are we black or white?" A big booming voice bellows out, "You are what you are."

He immediately goes back to Eve and tells her that they are white. "How do you know?" asks Eve. "Because he said, 'You are what you are,'" Adam replied. "Why does that mean we are white?" asked Eve. "Because if we were black, He would have said, 'You is what you is.'"

I invented a time-traveling machine and traveled back to Pangea. I warned the dinosaurs about the deadly asteroid. They told me, "It wasn't an asteroid... it was Pionel Pessi's penalty ball ricocheted from Mars that made them extinct." Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Pessi!

Death once had a near Chuck experience.

Nobody:

Michael Jackson: giving kids a free cream pie.

Kobe ended so many games with threes. Now he ends his life with trees.

Sad to think about legend O.G. Mudbone being no longer with us.

I’m only curious how they closed his casket.

What was the knight's name that sat at the round table?

Circumference.

Chuck Norris once stared a basilisk in the eye, and it DIED!

Give Kobe a plane ticket, he'll fly for the trip, but give Kobe a helicopter and he'll fly for the rest of his life.

I'M GOING TO HELL FOR THIS!!!

What do you call being run over by Michael Jackson?

Being hit by... Being struck by... A smooth criminal.

Chuck Norris doesn't zoom out; everything moves backwards.

2020 was the first time Kobe had passed in years.

Chuck Norris doesn't turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries.