Legend jokes
Bet y'all did not know Kobe had blue eyes! One blew east and one blew west.
Chuck Norris and Medusa had a staring contest. Medusa turned to stone.
Chuck Norris once put a plastic bag on his head, and the bag suffocated to death.
Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
There was an American wrestler from Texas named John, who throughout his high school career had never lost a match. As he went on into college he continued undefeated. He became a national icon and symbol of American strength.
News began to circulate of a Russian wrestler who was fierce and unstoppable. As each wrestler's legends grew, a match was set up between the two, America versus Russia. The match would be held in Texas.
John began training immediately. Every day his coach would tell him, “This Russian has a move called the Mongolian Death Grip. No one has ever escaped the Mongolian Death Grip. DO NOT let him get you in the Mongolian Death Grip.”
The day of the match finally came. Just before each wrestler stepped onto the mat in front of the capacity crowd, the coach once again said, “Whatever you do, do not let him get you in the Mongolian death grip. No one has ever escaped the Mongolian death grip.”
Four seconds into the match, the Russian had the American in the Mongolian death grip. The coach buried his face into his hands and cursed John for not listening to his advice. All of the sudden he heard the crowd irrupt in a chant of USA USA USA. He looked up and saw the Russian pinned by John. The coach ran out to meet John and embarrassingly told him, “I didn’t see... Once he had you in the Mongolian Death Grip I looked away. How in the world did you get out of the Mongolian death grip?”
With heavy breath, John told him, “Well coach, that Russian grabbed me and twisted my body in ways I never imagined possible. I was wincing in pain when I open my eyes and right in front of me were two testicles. So I bit them.”
“What???” Said the coach... “John I don’t think that is legal. You could be disqualified.”
“I don’t know about that coach. But I can tell you one thing. You ain’t got no idea how strong you are until you bite your own balls.”
Chuck Norris once did a roundhouse kick... and successfully completed the bottle cap challenge.
Ya know, Kobe made a real impact on the earth!
People said that we needed to follow in Kobe's footsteps, but there are none.
The Titanic was going through the ocean. Chuck Norris was on the ship, and they never crashed into an iceberg. He just shat off the front of the ship!
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect 4 in only three moves.
You are so hairy, Bigfoot took your picture!
One time Chuck Norris peed in the gas tank of a semi truck as a practical joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris drove his parents to school.
The bear rug on Chuck Norris's floor isn't dead, it's just afraid to move.
Kobe's favorite song was "It's going down for real."
Chuck Norris can toss Jupiter at the Sun with his bare hands.
And he still cannot win a fighting match against Bruce Lee.
Kobe is a legend and is nothing to joke about. Wait till you crash and burn!
Chuck Norris knows the location of Atlantis.
Chuck Norris one-shot down a German fighter plane by pointing his finger at it and yelling "bang!"