Legend jokes

Give Kobe a plane ticket, he'll fly for the trip, but give Kobe a helicopter and he'll fly for the rest of his life.

I'M GOING TO HELL FOR THIS!!!

Before the chicken or the egg, there was only Chuck Norris.

There were people having sex when it started sinking. Legend tells when you go near the ship you can see semen, and if you listen close enough you'll hear them moaning.

Now that's a hell of a ghost story!

I would say fly high to Kobe, but obviously he didn't...

There was once a genie with a 10 foot weenie, and he showed it to the neighbors next door.

They thought it was a snake and hit it with a rake. Now it's only 6.4ft.

Chuck Norris' dick is so big that it has its own dick. And his dick's dick is still bigger than Bruce Lee.

What was found under MJ's pillow after he died?

Billy's jeans.

Kobe ended so many games with threes. Now he ends his life with trees.

2020 was the first time Kobe had passed in years.

Chuck Norris once did a roundhouse kick... and successfully completed the bottle cap challenge.

Chuck Norris doesn't turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries.

Nobody:

Michael Jackson: giving kids a free cream pie.

Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.

You are so hairy, Bigfoot took your picture!

There was an American wrestler from Texas named John, who throughout his high school career had never lost a match. As he went on into college he continued undefeated. He became a national icon and symbol of American strength.

News began to circulate of a Russian wrestler who was fierce and unstoppable. As each wrestler's legends grew, a match was set up between the two, America versus Russia. The match would be held in Texas.

John began training immediately. Every day his coach would tell him, “This Russian has a move called the Mongolian Death Grip. No one has ever escaped the Mongolian Death Grip. DO NOT let him get you in the Mongolian Death Grip.”

The day of the match finally came. Just before each wrestler stepped onto the mat in front of the capacity crowd, the coach once again said, “Whatever you do, do not let him get you in the Mongolian death grip. No one has ever escaped the Mongolian death grip.”

Four seconds into the match, the Russian had the American in the Mongolian death grip. The coach buried his face into his hands and cursed John for not listening to his advice. All of the sudden he heard the crowd irrupt in a chant of USA USA USA. He looked up and saw the Russian pinned by John. The coach ran out to meet John and embarrassingly told him, “I didn’t see... Once he had you in the Mongolian Death Grip I looked away. How in the world did you get out of the Mongolian death grip?”

With heavy breath, John told him, “Well coach, that Russian grabbed me and twisted my body in ways I never imagined possible. I was wincing in pain when I open my eyes and right in front of me were two testicles. So I bit them.”

“What???” Said the coach... “John I don’t think that is legal. You could be disqualified.”

“I don’t know about that coach. But I can tell you one thing. You ain’t got no idea how strong you are until you bite your own balls.”

The Titanic was going through the ocean. Chuck Norris was on the ship, and they never crashed into an iceberg. He just shat off the front of the ship!

Ya know, Kobe made a real impact on the earth!

The bear rug on Chuck Norris's floor isn't dead, it's just afraid to move.

Mfs be saying Kobe is good at basketball cause he is 6 feet, ye 6 feet underground.

Chuck Norris can toss Jupiter at the Sun with his bare hands.

And he still cannot win a fighting match against Bruce Lee.