Left

Left jokes

Teacher

Once at school, a teacher thought I was Russian. Why do you think that? I said. The teacher replied, because you're reading from Right to Left.

Ip address

Some jokes are best left not harassed by those who are offended by them.

For I have everyone's IP address.

Child

The mom and dad left the child because they were famous and rich, like rich monkeys.

Username

You only put your user name under Daddyboy_01 because your dad left you, hahahah!

Memes

Left memes

Source

According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form contains only four lines:

1. What was your income for the year?

2. What were your expenses?

3. How much have you left?

4. Send it in.

Doctor

There was a guy who got his whole left side shot off.

When he was at the hospital and he woke up, he asked the doctor if he was okay.

The doctor said, "You're all right now."

Helen Keller

What did Helen Keller's mother do to her when she was mad at her?

She left the plunger in the toilet, she put doorknobs on all the walls, and she rearranged the furniture.

Orphanage

I've heard stories of my mother. She was a teenager and left me in the blender, but luckily the power cut out, like at the orphanage.

Party

9 months before I was born,

I went to a party with my dad and left with my mom.

Suicide

A man comes to a bar and has a drink. Then his bully came to him and stole his drink. Then the bully asked, "What's wrong?"

The man said that "I'm trying to kill myself. I tried getting hit by a train, but the train went on a different track. Then I tried to jump off a bridge, but I fell on a boat full of pillows. Then I tried to poison myself."

Then the bully says, "Then what?" Then the man replied, "You just drank it." Then the man left.

Sayori

DDLC be like: "You kinda left her (Sayori) hanging."

And Yuri TOOK A SEAT...

On the floor.

And died.

The end.

Wing

Stephen Hawking is the fastest footballer ever--he could just charge up the Left Wing!