Left jokes

Hi Alex, it's 2:00 Easter time. Freshfry is a scaredy-cat. He left when you left, lol.

I've heard stories of my mother. She was a teenager and left me in the blender, but luckily the power cut out, like at the orphanage.

Some jokes are best left not harassed by those who are offended by them.

For I have everyone's IP address.

You only put your user name under Daddyboy_01 because your dad left you, hahahah!

The mom and dad left the child because they were famous and rich, like rich monkeys.

The emo kid tried to give me a handshake. Sadly, I left him hanging.

Person: My left ear is ringing.

Friend: Then answer it!

Your dad left you 10 years ago and you're 10 years old, so your dad anniversary is today.

According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form contains only four lines:

1. What was your income for the year?

2. What were your expenses?

3. How much have you left?

4. Send it in.

What’s Stephen Hawking’s favorite food?

His left shoulder.

lol they left.

9 months before I was born,

I went to a party with my dad and left with my mom.

I said, "Are you half left or half right?"

"Neither! In-between."

"What?! In between your mom's tits when you go to sleep with her at night?"

When I was feeling suicidal, I called the suicide hotline and they left me hanging.

A man comes to a bar and has a drink. Then his bully came to him and stole his drink. Then the bully asked, "What's wrong?"

The man said that "I'm trying to kill myself. I tried getting hit by a train, but the train went on a different track. Then I tried to jump off a bridge, but I fell on a boat full of pillows. Then I tried to poison myself."

Then the bully says, "Then what?" Then the man replied, "You just drank it." Then the man left.

DDLC be like: "You kinda left her (Sayori) hanging."

And Yuri TOOK A SEAT...

On the floor.

And died.

The end.

Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts make a right.

Stephen Hawking is the fastest footballer ever--he could just charge up the Left Wing!

Two to the one from the one to the three, I like good pussy and I like good trees, Smoke so much weed you wouldn't believe, And I get more ass than a toilet seat.

Three to the one from the one to the three, I met a bad bitch last night in the D, Let me tell you how I made her leave with me, Conversation and Hennessey.

I've been to the motherfuckin' mountain top, Heard motherfuckers talk, seen and dropped, If I ain't got a weapon I'ma pick up a rock, And when I bust yo ass I'ma continue to rock.

Getcha ass of the wall with your two left feet, It's real easy just follow the beat, Don't let that fine girl pass you by, Look real close 'cause strobe lights blind.

What did the left butt cheek say to the right?

"Trump 2020."