Left jokes

Yo life got no meaning, just like your dad when he left. Like if it's a good one.

I left a ticket to a WNBA game on the dashboard when I went to go get the groceries.

A burglar broke in and left another one on the dashboard.

What is brown and sticky?

The leftovers of the iceberg.

What is Stephen Hawking's best side?

The left.

I saw a small kid crying, so I asked him, "Where's your mom?" but he started crying, so I left the funeral. 🙂🙂

Why did the caretaker of the Twin Towers get sacked?

He left the landing lights on.

Your hairline [is] so bad even your mama left you.

You're so skinny the world turns to the left!

She left, and now I support women's rights. I will kill her.

I left a chunk of ice outside during summer. That was the first time I heard icescream.

I tried my best to think of some puns, but I'm gonna have tibia honest: I don't have any puns left, but I'm pretty sternum, so I'll think of a few puns here and there. It took a lot of spine to do this.

Your dad is so smart, he took one look at you and left.

Jim walks into a bar and asks for a shot of vodka. He then says to the barkeep, "Who's the toughest guy in here?"

The barkeep points to a man at the pool table. Jim then knocked him out and paid for the shot and left. He did this every Friday for 2 months. Finally, the barkeep is pissed because Jim keeps knocking out all of his customers. He then orders a gorilla and puts him in the bathroom.

Jim walks into the bar and gets another shot of vodka. He asks again, "Who's the toughest guy in here tonight?" The bartender points to the bathroom and says he's in there. Jim walks into the bathroom and everyone in the bar can hear yelling and screaming. The bartender asks, "What happened in there?" Jim smiles and says, "I don't know who that was, but when he wakes up tell him I put his fur jacket in the toilet."

What do you call a green camel?

My parents left me.

I left my Avatar at home today.

Once at school, a teacher thought I was Russian. Why do you think that? I said. The teacher replied, because you're reading from Right to Left.

If your hairline was a river, it would meander left, right, and backwards.

I left my boots on in the river, and I drowned.

There was a guy who got his whole left side shot off.

When he was at the hospital and he woke up, he asked the doctor if he was okay.

The doctor said, "You're all right now."

What did Helen Keller's mother do to her when she was mad at her?

She left the plunger in the toilet, she put doorknobs on all the walls, and she rearranged the furniture.