Left jokes

Why did the caretaker of the Twin Towers get sacked?

He left the landing lights on.

I left a ticket to a WNBA game on the dashboard when I went to go get the groceries.

A burglar broke in and left another one on the dashboard.

Yo life got no meaning, just like your dad when he left. Like if it's a good one.

Yo momma's armpits stink so bad she made Right Guard turn to left.

She left, and now I support women's rights. I will kill her.

What is Stephen Hawking's best side?

The left.

You're so skinny the world turns to the left!

I saw a small kid crying, so I asked him, "Where's your mom?" but he started crying, so I left the funeral. 🙂🙂

What is brown and sticky?

The leftovers of the iceberg.

I left a chunk of ice outside during summer. That was the first time I heard icescream.

Your dad is so smart, he took one look at you and left.

You got no lotion to masturbate, then you remember there's some leftover porridge in the fridge. 😌🤎😇

I felt bad for a dog, and I looked to my left, and there was an orphan, and I said I will make you a website, and I said there won't be a homepage.

I tried my best to think of some puns, but I'm gonna have tibia honest: I don't have any puns left, but I'm pretty sternum, so I'll think of a few puns here and there. It took a lot of spine to do this.

Jim walks into a bar and asks for a shot of vodka. He then says to the barkeep, "Who's the toughest guy in here?"

The barkeep points to a man at the pool table. Jim then knocked him out and paid for the shot and left. He did this every Friday for 2 months. Finally, the barkeep is pissed because Jim keeps knocking out all of his customers. He then orders a gorilla and puts him in the bathroom.

Jim walks into the bar and gets another shot of vodka. He asks again, "Who's the toughest guy in here tonight?" The bartender points to the bathroom and says he's in there. Jim walks into the bathroom and everyone in the bar can hear yelling and screaming. The bartender asks, "What happened in there?" Jim smiles and says, "I don't know who that was, but when he wakes up tell him I put his fur jacket in the toilet."

The emo kid tried to give me a handshake. Sadly, I left him hanging.

Some jokes are best left not harassed by those who are offended by them.

For I have everyone's IP address.

You only put your user name under Daddyboy_01 because your dad left you, hahahah!

What did Helen Keller's mother do to her when she was mad at her?

She left the plunger in the toilet, she put doorknobs on all the walls, and she rearranged the furniture.

The mom and dad left the child because they were famous and rich, like rich monkeys.