Law jokes
If a pregnant lady murders someone, does the child get an assist?
I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun, now it's an assault rifle.
When cops say you have the right to remain silent,
You're just happy you have the right to do something.
Judge to the defendant: "Defendant, do you have a criminal record?"
"No."
"Have you always been honest?"
"No, never been caught!"
What did the man who had sex with an Instagram model in the reverse cowgirl position while going 90 on the freeway get charged for?
Driving under the influencer.
Memes
What does Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
My friends in my friend group say that I am quiet and I don't do anything bad. I proved them wrong by murdering the leader of it.
Poultry rape is no joke. It is God's gift to those who want a laugh.
I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word “Mother-in-law” you get the words “Woman Hitler”.
POV: Me going to jail after giving the orphan kid a computer without the motherboard.
"Officer, don’t arrest me, she said she was 5 in dog years!"
What do you call a group of jumping Mexicans?
Border hoppers! LOL.
What do you call a paraplegic cannibal?
"Dine and dash."
Why do they call them a nonce?
Because they go for people who don't have any sense.
What do you call a nut that screws and then bolts?
An escapee from a mental hospital.
Q. What’s black and blue and doesn’t like to have sex?
A. The little girl in my trunk.
"Bippity Boppity Boop! Bill Cosby's coming for you!"
What did the ferret say after his family was questioned by police?
It's none of your business!
A man walks into a bar. The corrections officer says, "Usually we open the cell before you go in, now stop bleeding on my floor!"
What's a convict's favorite song?
"I want to break free."