Law jokes
Why did the kid cross the road?
He wasn't wearing his seatbelt.
Why did the orphan become a killer?
Because he knew they would not look for him.
What do you call a criminal?
Disarmed and dangerous.
You get on an elevator and you find the Pope and Donald Trump cowering from two snarling wolves. In your hand you find a revolver with only two bullets in it... what do you do?
You shoot the Pope and the Donald each in a leg and exit the elevator at the next stop.
What’s worse than banging your sister?
Having to wear your dad’s wedding ring.
You can't put an orphan on house arrest if there isn't a house to arrest them to.
Why don't Mexicans cross the border in groups of 3? Cause the sign says "No Trespassing."
I watched an episode of Law & Order Special Victims Unit. It turns out it's about rape. I thought it was going to be about crimes on a short bus or something.
A lot of people claim that white privilege does not exist. Well, how the hell do you explain Michael Jackson not being charged for raping children, despite ample evidence?
I accidentally hit an orphan with my car, but I was not worried because he couldn’t tell his parents.
You know what I hate about rape?
Keeping it a secret.
Why are wives also called a housekeeper?
Because after the divorce, they keep the house.
Kelly Clarkson and Ian Watkins of the Lostprophets both walk into a bar. The bartender asked, "Hitting on some 2-year-olds today?" It may have been an innocuous question, if it weren't for the fact that the bartender is Chris Hansen.
Why is Donald Trump so desperate to break into the White House?
Most landlords cannot lease their properties to him due to the fact that he is a felon.
I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium and you’re being a respectful friend.
But do it at home and you’re destroying evidence.
What's the difference between a club and a bar? I can only get dead hookers from the club alleyways.
One day an orphan went to jail, and a big dude went behind him and said, "I want you." The orphan said, "Finally!"
Why can't orphans get five stars in GTA?
Because they're not wanted.
What does an orphan not have in common with a criminal?
Criminals are wanted.
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite type of candy?
A: Loli-pops.