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Law jokes

What happened to the police that crossed the road?

They solved a murder involving the nut case.

Someone stole my grass today. I went to the police, and they said: "What's wrong?" I said, "How could you tell something was wrong?" They replied, "You were looking forlorn."

If you drink, don’t drive. People cause accidents.

If you drink, don’t park. Accidents cause people.

Why did the teacher get the death penalty? Because she gave an orphan homework. That's on period. #darkhumor

Me and my stepmom went into the forest.

I think I hid the body pretty well, but now I have to hide the gun.

So, I went up to an Australian girl. She looked like she was 20, and I said, "Can I have your phone number, sweetheart?" She said, "696969." I said, "Oh, haha, okay." A few days later, her mother called me and said she's 15.

You and me went up to stab your father. He was out, do not pout. They are coming after.

I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.

I got the joke from my brother.

Trump can get banned. The cops can tack him to jail, and Trump go go go go bye bye for good. Trump is meing.

I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage.

I lost the case.

Two kids were beating up a kid in an alley, so I stepped in to help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.

I'm in school lol.

I went to my local shooting range today but was surprised to see that the news reported a school shooting there. I still don't know who snitched...

I went to my local shooting range today but was surprised when I saw on the news that there was a school shooting in my shooting range. I don't know who snitched...

Dad: Come on, David, go dress up like a girl.

David: Isn't that illegal?

Dad: Nah, it isn't illegal if you keep the buttons in.

David: I hate my life.

What do a bullet and a police officer have in common?

When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.

So, I'm sitting here smacking on some cheese ball BBQ my titties, and then I felt a shoe get shoved all the way up my ass. I cried, then turned around and said, "MOTHERFUCKING COCK SUCK FUCKIN GAY ASS HOE SHOVIN SHOE’S UP MY ASS SON OF A BITCH!" Then turned around, punched, and got smacked in the face. Went in for another punch, got smacked in the face, then people staring at me. I said, "WTF r u starin at," I punched as hard as I can, then got knocked out. I though this this isnt over motherfucker imma find u and kill u next thing i new i was in the hospital they told me why tf were u fighting a stops sign? I said what u were fighting a motherfuckering stop sign i sad bitchi aint crazing yo head a stop sign son of a bitch fuck my pussy u must be high! hai es a bitch muhfuhcka