Law jokes
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a good body these days?
I think Jeffrey Dahmer had the right idea, just put it in the freezer.
What’s worse than finger banging your sister?
Finding your dad’s wedding ring.
You hear about Rapboats' time in prison? He kept droppin' the soap on purpose.
What’s something Bill Cosby and Freddy Krueger have in common?
Once you fall asleep, you’re fucked.
How do rappers stay organized?
They keep their rap sheets in order.
If you think Tracy Latimer's murder was in any way justified, put on your helmet 'cause you're about to miss the short bus.
I was walking down the street and I punched a white guy, then I was arrested for assault. The next day after I got out, I punched a black guy and I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.
What's the best thing about a prostitute dying on you during sex?
The second hour is free.
I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun. Now it’s an assault rifle.
What is the most common crime in Asia?
Identity fraud.
My mom asked, "Why are you so depressed? It could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer."
I replied, "I wish I were Tracy Latimer because then someone would kill me."
What’s the difference between rape and marriage?
With marriage, you get to keep the screaming woman.
What has 4 hairy legs and fucks my sister?
Me & my dad!
A child, molester, and priest walk into a bar.
He orders a drink.
What's the difference between Jedi and a rapist?
Nothing, they both use the Force to get what they want.
I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun, now it's an assault rifle.
If being sexy were a crime, you better lock me up.
Not because I'm sexy, but because I have 5 dead children in my basement.
Abortion isn't murder, it's more like backspacing a typo.
What's the difference between child abuse and abandonment?
The abused ones are forced to listen while being abused, while abandoned kids cry because they don't have parents anymore.
A white woman was caught on video using racial slurs and assaulting two black students. She was charged with "interpreting" a black police officer.