Law Enforcement Jokes

What's the difference between a Pig and a Police officer.

The Pig smells better

What do orphans and police not have in common

The police can actually go home

One day a truck driver had a truck full of squirrels. A polise officer said," Sir, I'm going to need you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver did so and left. The next day the driver was back but this time the squirrels were wearing sunglasses. The officer said," I thought I told you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver said," I did. Today I'm taking them to the beach."

So, there was this cop on the top bunk of a bunk bed. Another cop walks in and sits on the bottom bunk and the cop on the top bunk bed said, "You're under a-rest."©

My uncle is a computer genius! The police even called him a pdf file!!

In History class, the teacher taught a lesson about serial killer Albert Fish. Back in the early 20th century, Fish reportedly kidnapped, ate, and raped over 100 kids. He mainly chose victims who were either retarded or black. Further on the lesson, the teacher explained how in those days, black people were socially not equal with white people, and how people with mental illness were not accepted and treated properly due to a lack of knowledge of mental health.

One of the students raised their hand and said, “You ought to be arrested”. The teacher confusedly asked, “Why?”. The student explained, “Because you’re thinking like Albert Fish”.

Crimes in 2018- assault, murder. Crimes in 2020- coughing in public.

A lady asked if I heard about the mass shooting in Ohio. I said yes my friend died there. She said I’m so sorry. I said yeah I tried telling him the police had good aim. Worse than that he just found out his sister was cheating on him.

I recently got pulled over by the cops and started spazzing out because of the police lights

He arrested me for impersonating Gorge Floyd. *I have seizures*

What does a cop say when they shoot ginger? Orange is the new black

There was a person inside, who needed help from the police, but the police changed their number, so he ordered a party with pizzas from 2 airplanes, but the pilots were stupid so they put in people instead of pizzas, and one landed on the 93rd floor, and the 94th floor, literally.

What do you say when you wake up to the police trying to arrest you? “Cmon, did ya really think I’d resist a-rest?”

The best part about Poland 🇵🇱 is the the police lights are different

One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully of him. The cop then asked the bully, "Why are you beating him up?" I responded, saying "I fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease. Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, "Well, how did I do?"

Officer don’t arrest me she said she was 5 in dog years

being a police officer in Nunavut must be so fun. they get to play Cut the rope on the job all the time!

Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the police... who? It's the police, let me in so I can get some donuts!

Did you hear what happened to Lorainna Bobbit? She was in an accident on the Garden State Parkway. She told the State Police Officer, That some dick cut her off.