Law Enforcement jokes
Why did the teacher get arrested?
He gave the orphan homework!
Why did the cop show up early to the protest? To beat the crowd.
A police officer came up to me and said, "Just why, why would you bring the epileptic children to a laser tag fight?"
Osama Bin Laden, Josef Stalin, and Hitler are robbing a bank, who do the cops shoot first?
A black guy.
What did Joe Biden say when he got pulled over?
I'm just a-Biden the law, officer.
What do orphans and police not have in common?
The police can actually go home.
Why do orphans play GTA so much?
Because they can be wanted for once.
What is the difference between orphans and serial killers?
Serial killers are wanted.
Why do orphans play GTA?
'Cause they're actually wanted.
What's the difference between a pig and a police officer?
The pig smells better.
Where do spiders commit crimes?
The Dark Web.
What is the best feeling for an orphan when he plays Grand Theft Auto?
When he is wanted!
Why does the orphan do robberies?
Because he wants to be wanted.
I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
The guard caught one of the fugitives as he tried to escape. All he said was...
"Don't let your guard down."
Two priests are driving down a road when they are pulled over by the cops.
The cop shines a light in their faces and signals to the driver to roll down his window.
"We're searching for two child molesters," he says.
The driver leans over to the other priest, and they whisper between themselves.
Finally, he turns back to the policeman. "Ok. We'll do it."
A cop pulls a man over and finds out he's drunk. So he asks for license and registration, and the drunk man says, "Can I see your flashlight?"
The cop says, "Just give me your license and registration." So drunk guy says, "Not until you give me your flashlight."
The cop said, "For what?" and the drunk guy says, "So I can shine it in your face and see what an asshole looks like."
My uncle is a computer genius! The police even called him a PDF file!
One day a truck driver had a truck full of squirrels. A police officer said, "Sir, I'm going to need you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver did so and left. The next day the driver was back, but this time the squirrels were wearing sunglasses. The officer said, "I thought I told you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver said, "I did. Today I'm taking them to the beach."
What is a Mexican's only obstacle?
Border patrol.