Law Enforcement jokes
A police officer came up to me and said, "Just why, why would you bring the epileptic children to a laser tag fight?"
What did Joe Biden say when he got pulled over?
I'm just a-Biden the law, officer.
Where do spiders commit crimes?
The Dark Web.
The guard caught one of the fugitives as he tried to escape. All he said was...
"Don't let your guard down."
What is the best feeling for an orphan when he plays Grand Theft Auto?
When he is wanted!
Memes
What do orphans and police not have in common?
The police can actually go home.
Why do orphans play GTA so much?
Because they can be wanted for once.
What's the difference between a pig and a police officer?
The pig smells better.
What is the difference between orphans and serial killers?
Serial killers are wanted.
Why does the orphan do robberies?
Because he wants to be wanted.
Why do orphans play GTA?
'Cause they're actually wanted.
I wasnât planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
Osama Bin Laden, Josef Stalin, and Hitler are robbing a bank, who do the cops shoot first?
A black guy.
Two priests are driving down a road when they are pulled over by the cops.
The cop shines a light in their faces and signals to the driver to roll down his window.
"We're searching for two child molesters," he says.
The driver leans over to the other priest, and they whisper between themselves.
Finally, he turns back to the policeman. "Ok. We'll do it."
A cop pulls a man over and finds out he's drunk. So he asks for license and registration, and the drunk man says, "Can I see your flashlight?"
The cop says, "Just give me your license and registration." So drunk guy says, "Not until you give me your flashlight."
The cop said, "For what?" and the drunk guy says, "So I can shine it in your face and see what an asshole looks like."
One day a truck driver had a truck full of squirrels. A police officer said, "Sir, I'm going to need you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver did so and left. The next day the driver was back, but this time the squirrels were wearing sunglasses. The officer said, "I thought I told you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver said, "I did. Today I'm taking them to the beach."
What is a Mexican's only obstacle?
Border patrol.
What do ICE and Mexican drug cartels both have in common?
They both kidnap Canadian women!
What's the advantage of being a grade A paedophile? You know it's not period blood.
How many white police officers does it take to push an African-American gentleman down the stairs?
Push?! He fell...