Law Enforcement

Law Enforcement jokes

Bank

    • One day there was a guy who robbed a bank. A customer at the bank while it happened got the police. Who was that? The police said......

    It’s a wood hulem.

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    • Bus

    • My daughter came home from school later than usual. I was panicking, then at 5:30 p.m. she arrived, not walking but in a bus 🚌. I asked, "Where the hell did this bus come from?" She said, "The garage in the alleyway, Mama. I bought it for five gummies and eight buttons. You like her? She is called Belle Bus." My face was just: 😑 How did you get the bus here? She replies with a whisper, "I drove her through five gardens, a house, and two police cars!" 🙃 So that explains why you have handcuffs on. "Yeah!"

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    • Law Enforcement memes

    Van

    • Today we had the best adventure ever! We started playing in the yard and doing ramps in a party van!

    It all started when Timmy and I were playing in the yard and a white rusty van drove up to our yard. A nice man told us to get in. We said we would love to go, but our mommies wouldn't want us to go. The man said your mommies told me it was OK to come.

    We hopped in the back and sped away super fast! The man gave us some candy, but Timmy and I were not hungry, so we didn't eat it. We saved it for later. After a while, I was wondering where we were going. I was about to ask the man, but then there was a whooping sound and some flashing blue lights! "Hey they want to party with us!" Timmy yelled over the whooping. "Party van!" I yelled.

    Timmy and I started dancing and whooping and the van began driving faster, doing crazy race car stunts, and jumps! Then we noticed the lights and whooping were coming from some cars that were following us. The cars were black and white and said "P O L I C E” on the side.

    We started to wave to them, but then the van did a HUGE jump and we flew out of the back of the van to the side of the road into some dirt, but it didn't really hurt that much. The van drove off without us, and I was really sad. Then Timmy told me the dirt was perfect for making mud pies. I was happy again. We played in the dirt awhile, until some people dressed like firefighters found us and brought us home. And then you asked me what happened. "Isn’t that right mommy?"

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    • Penny

    • Ok, I put one penny down. Do you smell anything?

    1 scent.

    I put two pennies down. Do you see any fruit?

    2 pears.

    I put three pennies down. Do you see any law enforcement?

    3 coppers.

    I put four pennies down. Do you see any cars?

    4 Lincolns.

    I put five pennies down. Do you see any pussies?

    NOT FOR 5 CENTS YOU DONT!

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    • Run

    • I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere!

    Cop

    • A cop pulls a man over and finds out he's drunk. So he asks for license and registration, and the drunk man says, "Can I see your flashlight?"

    The cop says, "Just give me your license and registration." So drunk guy says, "Not until you give me your flashlight."

    The cop said, "For what?" and the drunk guy says, "So I can shine it in your face and see what an asshole looks like."

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    • Police Officer

    • Please don't get mad, it's a joke.

    What's the difference between a bullet and a police officer? At least when a bullet kills someone, it's fired.

    Charge

    • When the police caught him stealing batteries, he was immediately charged.

    The cops are accusing him of resisting. He's now languishing in a cell, where he is currently awaiting an appearance in Circuit Court.

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    • Cop

    • I was gonna stop for the cops, but I ran because I was high (the song don't copyright me plz).

    Boob

    • Get a calculator.

    Okay, anyways, Sally has 69 bottles of boobs (because she is a cannibal that collects boobs) and her friend said it was 222 many. She got caught by the police and was taken to 51st Street. She got arrested for x8 days, so she was BOOBLESS.

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