Cops go to the hood when the shooting range is closed
I don't understand why when I went to the shooting range today the police came, like bro I always go to elementary schools
I was walking down the streets of Manchester when suddenly I saw Penaldo getting arrested! I heard the officer say “This time I give you warning, there will be no penalty”
That’s when Penaldo asked “No penalty?!” and punched the police officer.
Shame on you Penaldo!
I am an actual police officer (Not gonna mention with which department in case they actually check this site) and tbh I find these jokes funny as fuck, carry on boys
A limbless criminal has just been identified. Police says the suspect is armed and on the run.
A cement mixer has collided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals.
A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat he is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with "what do you mean I already did it" then the police ran back to the school to aprehend the other people he was planing it with the cops busted in through the doors which caused a smoke trap to go off which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles 4 per pole. Back to the station holding the kid being apprehended. the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said "Aww it pays to be lazy!"
What did the racist serial killer say to the cop?
“Wait, you’re getting paid?”
Things you never want to do in jail - never piss off an inmate - don’t start fights with the cops - don’t drop the soap - don’t run away from the cops
what does the policeman say to the Jumper?
"hey!Pullover"
Someone stole my grass today, I went to the police and they said: "What's wrong?" I said "How could you tell something was wrong?" they replied "you were looking forlorn"
Two priests walk into a store and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester and the priests both say I’ll do it
I hate double standards if you burn a body at a crematorium you're doing a good job if you burn a body t home you're destroying evidence.
"You are under arrest for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia."
"Wait! I can explain everything."
A lady runs into a police station and yells "help, help". I've been graped then a police officer says "Do you mean raped". The girl then replies "No there was a bunch of em".
What was the name of Russia's first female traffic cop?
Ivana Pulyova
The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it. The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.
The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:
"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!" (Found on the web if you don't like it don't leave a hate comment)
what do you call an autistic police officer? special forces
somebody called the cops for a school shooting, what a snitch
what did the woman do when the armed police officer raped her?
freeze
