Laughter jokes

All these jokes really hijacking my mind.

You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish.

Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA

What is a Russian joke?

Something that will be funny for Russian people.

I did 9/11 here's proof https://youtu.be/BVH73TonuG8

I find all these obese jokes horrible.

Don't you think they have enough on their plate?

There are 5 cows in a field. One of them is the mom, the rest are kids. One of the kids walked up to the mom and asked, "Why am I named Daisy?" and then a daisy fell on her head.

The second cow came up to the mom and asked, "Why am I named Rose?" and then a rose fell on her head. Then the 3rd cow said, "Why am I named Violet?" then a violet fell on her head. Then the 4th cow walked up and said, "Merrrbere." Then the mom said, "Shutup, cinder block!"

What's the similarities between dark humor and cancer?

It's funnier when kids get it.

Why is Santa always a b*tch, calling people names like, "Hoe, hoe, hoe?"

My friend wasn't laughing at my jokes, so I said, "Is your funny bone broken?" But he got mad, and then I said, "Do you have a bone to pick with me?" He tried to insult me, but I said, "Call me what you want, I got thick skin," and this story was down to the bone.

Whoever invented the knock-knock joke should get a "no bell" prize.

Guys, stop making jokes about blind people, they might s... never mind, continue.

I have so many orphan jokes. I'm afraid most of them won't hit home.

What did the clock say when it got punched at noon?

It’s twelve o'clock.

Why did orphans have to drink their own piss?

Because last time they went to the bar, they went with their dad and drank some Corona, then got drunk and started eating someone's toenails, so his dad went to go get the milk and everybody had to evacuate the bar. Then the orphan started walking on his teeth and got listed for the top ten wanted animals in the world, so then he felt wanted and went to go home and had nobody to go to, so he found the beer bottle he drunk out of and started pissing in it so he wouldn't die and loved it. So then someone saw him in the bushes pissing in a beer bottle then drinking, so the person who saw him started recording and posted it on YouTube, and the boy became famous, so now he can feel like he was wanted in life after daddy went to go get the milk, then the little boy became really rich.

Jimmy does stand up comedy. He says, "What do you call an orangutan?"

Jake replies, "YOU!" Then everyone, including the teacher, laughs. Jimmy cries.

LOL

My friend told me an emo joke once, and I said, "Emo jokes aren't funny, cut it out!"

When you're at a funeral and you laugh at the body... everyone stares, and one person said, "Isn't that your mom...?"

I would have a joke for my friend... but he can't afford the punchline.

Hello! I hope you're having a good day or night! Mind commenting when you laughed the hardest and why? Like if you like this post!

These aren't funny.