Laughter jokes
What do you call an LGBTQ person getting grilled? LGBBQ.
I made it, DON'T COPY!!!
My friend and I were joking about a kid in a wheelchair, and another kid came up and said to the wheelchair kid, "You should stand up for yourself."
Enough with the Nazi jokes.
They make me führeious!
Me: Wanna hear a joke about my chin?
Friend: Nah, dude. It'll be too long.
Hitler visits a lunatic asylum. The patients give the Hitler salute. As he passes down the line, he comes across a woman who isn't saluting.
"Why are you not saluting like the others?" Hitler barks.
"Mein Führer, I'm the nurse," she responds. "I'm not crazy!"
Q: What did the cannibal shout when his friend fell on the floor?
A: "FIVE SECOND RULE!"
Real quick, I'm autistic, and if anyone asks, I absolutely love some of these jokes. XD I found this while doing some research for a paper.
What did the cake say to the fork?
"Do you want a piece of me!!!"
Why can't dinosaurs clap? Because they're dead.
What would you find on a haunted beach?
A sand-witch!
"Hey guys, I'm a new jokester, remember my name as I'll be making a lot more!!! P.S. They will be much better than this one!"
Teacher: What does a pig give you?
Little Johnny: Bacon.
Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?
Little Johnny: Wool.
Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?
Little Johnny: Homework and says "leave motherf*cker".
It's only rape.
If she finds out.
My mom told me a joke she made 13 years ago, but she didn't tell me what it was... Anyways, I'm turning 14 next month.
THIS IS A RHYME
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said you know you wanna.
Jill said yes as he grabbed her dress,
and they had a little fun.
Jill forgot her pills so now they have a son.
*Hears the news about Sandy Hook* Person 1: "God, I can only imagine what was going through those kids' heads in the last moments of their lives..."
Person 2: "Probably Bullets."
Person 1: "OMG!! Can you even think of what their parents are going through?!"
Person 2: "Probably Coffin Brochures."
Person 1: "...."
Person 2: "It's called dark humor. Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it."
What did the Mexican man say when his house fell on him?
"Get off me homes."
I think Paul Walker and 9/11 jokes are great, but when I tell them to others, they tend to crash and burn.
What sound does a 747 make when it bounces?
Boeing boeing boeing.
What did the comedian say when he walked into a bank?
"This is a stand-up."
I can’t watch anime anymore when my friend’s grandpa is in the house.
He hasn’t heard a Japanese person scream since the war.