Laughter jokes
What did the clock say when it got punched at noon?
It’s twelve o'clock.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Water.
Water who?
Water you waiting for, just let me in!
Friend: Your t-shirt is cringe.
Me: You should go get the Covid test because one of their symptoms is no taste.
Is depression sadness or happiness? I call it a fun time.
Family all eating at the table.
Brother: "Hmm, I think I feel gold."
Sister: "Stop the cap."
Brother looks under the table and says, "Nope, just a gold digger."
Dad laughed.
Stepmom storms out of the room.
"How was your day?"
"It was great."
"What was so great about it?"
"I saw a puppy."
"Awww."
"And I ran over it :)"
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?
Gloves........ just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.
Come on guys, please let's play Roblox. My name is xX_robloxGamer420Po_Xx.
Man: Okay, tell me a joke without the expense of anyone's feelings.
Me: Okay, so an Asian...
Me: Why am I an orphan?
Friend: I don't know.
Me: Ask your mom.
What is a monkey’s 🐒 favorite dance move?
The banana 🍌 split.
Yesterday, I tickled my granddaughter's feet.
She is being born in 2 months.
Rape jokes are not funny.
Look at my name by the way😁.
What did John Cena say to the blind man? "YOU CAN'T SEE ME!"
My friend: "Ess, stop with the self-harm jokes it's not funny."
Me: "C'mon it's not that deep."
I was gonna make a joke about sex, but you won’t get it.
Tell world's best yo mama joke to an orphan, then watch them cry.
My Friend: Why does Santa look like that?
My 15 Year Old Friend: He has secateurs cancer...
Me: I heard it's because he comes once a year.
*Everyone Looks at me*
So there were three baby chickens and two mothers. The first baby said, "Why am I named Calf?"
And the mother said, "I f***ed a cow."
Then the second baby came up to its mother, and it said, "Why am I named B***h?"
And its mom said, "I f***ed a wolf."
And the final baby came to its mother and said, "Why am I named Orphan?" And because its mother wasn't there to see it, this is what I have to say: "Because you are one, you ducking hitch!!"
A mirror and a beer bottle are arguing.
The beer bottle says: "If you break me, you get one year of bad luck."
The mirror scoffs: "Oh, that's nothing. You break me and you get 7 years of bad luck."
The condom overhears these arguments and walks off laughing.