Laughter jokes

789.

I was a sit-down comedian, then I tried to stand up. I fell.

I wished I stayed in the wheelchair.

I have many jokes about unemployed people--sadly, none of them work.

What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!

A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, "her life."

What's the difference between your jokes and your penis? Nobody laughs at your jokes.

I saw an orphan and I said, "Yo."

He said, "What do you want?"

I said, "To be your new father."

"Really??!" the orphan said.

Me: Lol, no.

Orphan *Jumps into street*

You're really...

I remember Grandpa's last words, "Oh, shit! It's in drive!"

If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.

Why do my kids die?

Stinky Oussy :D

Kobe never missed a shot, but he missed the helipad.

I'm going to hell!

I go to get my mail.

Stranger: "Something fell out of your pocket! April fools!"

Me: "You're adopted, April fools!"

Then I see an orphan behind me and gets all excited.

What did they give Elmo before he left the factory? Two test-tickles.

A farmer artificially impregnated a cow. The cow said to another cow, "It's a miracle, I'm pregnant." The other cow said, "That's impossible, it's only us cows in the field, you must be joking." The first cow said, "Nope, I'm serious... no bull!"

I forgot the joke.

"If you can make them laugh and giggle, you can make their booty shake and jiggle."

A small boy went up to a dog fountain? The more you. HAHA gorgeous ddollars of benjamin frnakus wghen hes wearing beakini bea at the beach hahaha.

What did the banana say to the vibrator?

"What are you shaking for? She’s going to eat me!"

I have a lot of eggcellent egg puns, get the yolk... Oh come on, don't be hard-boiled!