Last jokes

Why don't you see any more fat Chinese men?

Because the last Chinese man was in WW2.

When Kobe's pilot hit the mountain, he said, "Kobe."

Your momma is so old she has been a waitress at the last supper.

I’m still wearing the smile you gave me last week :)

I'll never forget my boss's last words: "We shall serve the best meat in our burgers!"

I tried to find my watch I lost last week, but I didn't have the time.

Me: The last time I used Duolingo was when the dinosaurs went extinct.

Duolingo: Lemme send my twins 2 go 2 ur houze (I got sideways8 twins)

What were Stephen Hawking's last words?

"Windows 10 shutting down."

This isn't an orphan joke, but I got a job at a library, but it only lasted 15 minutes. Turns out, books about women’s rights shouldn’t go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section.

Why do emo kids love dressing up on Halloween so much?

It's their last holiday for them, but at least they're still hanging on...

1: My grandpa died last year.

2: What kind of cancer?

1: He was hit by a bus! It's called bus cancer.

Last time I got a piece of ass was when my finger went through the toilet paper.

An old man goes to a church and is making a confession:

Man: "Father, I am 75 years old. I have been married for 50 years. All these years I had been faithful to my wife, but yesterday I was intimate with an 18-year-old."

Father: "When was the last time you made a confession?"

Man: "I never have, I am Jewish."

Father: "Then why are telling me all this?"

Man: "I’m telling everybody!"

My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.

Why are Japanese always so skinny?

Cause last time there was a fat man, an entire city disappeared.

Stop making jokes about cancer... I might sound like a Karen, but it’s not fair... My mum died of cancer last month, and still I cry nearly every night 🙏🏻

When was the last time you could see your whole body in the mirror?

I have the best life coach ever, because he taught me to not care. He did it so well that he died last week, and I still don’t care.

what is the fastest land animal? the last chicken in a Kenyan village.

I asked my wife if I could use toys during sex last night. You should've seen her face when I rolled my Hot Wheels across her tits.