Last Jokes

I still remember my dad's last words: "Don't worry son, Allah will be pleased."

One day, a priest is walking down the street and sees a little girl with a box. "What's in the box?", the priest asks. "Christian kittens", the little girl answers. Pleased, the priest smiles and continues on his way. A week later, the same priest is walking down the street with a nun when he sees the little girl and the box again. "Ask her what she has in the box", he says, "It's the cutest thing!" The nun walks up and asks the girl what she has in the box. "Atheist kittens", she says. The priest rushes forward and says "ATHEIST KITTENS!!! Last week you said they were "Christian kittens!!!" "They were", she says. "Now their eyes are open".

i will never forget my mother and fathers last words

WHERE THE SAM HELL DID YOU GET A GRANADE

A woman walks in to a dentists office sits on the counter and spreads her legs. The dentist says i think you have the wrong idea with that the woman replies last week you gave my husband his false teeth now you can get them out.

I will always remember the last noise i hear in my school, "oogga booga motherf****rs," click, boom

Ill never forget my mother last words. What's are doing with that sledge hammer

Americans don't like playing chess with muslims, last time they did play they ended up losing two towers.

do nothing about people falling down the stairs, it will keep happening

put razor blades on the stairs, it will be their last time falling down the stairs

What does a "transgender" womans favorite song and his/her last online order have in common???

~they're both a dick in a box

"Welcome to mama mia's pizzeria and abortion clinic, where last weeks lost is this weeks sauce."

*Hears the news about Sandy Hook* Person 1:God,I can only imagine what was going through those kids heads in the last moments of their lives... Person 2:Probably Bullets Person 1:OMG!!Can you even think of what their parents are going through?! Person 2:Probably Coffin Brochures Person 1:.... Person 2:Its called dark humor.Dark humor is like food,not everyone gets it.

I walk in from work to find my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride she says BOO! What kind of sick fuck does that?

Last halloween i went dressed as a woman. When i rang the doorbell an elderly woman opened and i made grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands. She immediately called the police and told them excactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First he asked are your parents here and i said nothing. Concerned by my answer he then asked if i was ok so i said nothing. He asked me what my name and i responded, "Hellen Keller.

I'll never forget my bosses last words: " We shall serve the best meat in our burgers! "

There was a blackout in my neighborhood last night. The police told us to stay inside until they shot him.

i'll never forget my dads last words before he kicked the bucket: "hey, look how far i can kick this bucket!!"

What's the last thing Asians hear from their parents? My money is my money. Your money is my money. Your wife's money is my money. Always remember that son.