I have to file a complaint against Spotify because I didn’t see you on my hot singles last week
My last relationship ended because I didn’t open the car door for her. Instead, I just went to the top of the water.
As the navy seals burst into osama bin ladens room in his pakistani compound, his last dying words forever wrung in the ears of the seals...
"It was just a prank bro"
Did you hear about the young man who brought floral arrangements in the shape of a life jacket on his friend’s funeral who drowned last week? Everyone was furious but he explained, “It’s what he would have wanted.”
Do you know why dinosaurs can't eat hyenas. Because their dead! The last thing they ate was some rock.
I was in a wheelchair for a few weeks last month. I went through a super traumatic experience, and I *wheely* hope I made a good *roll* mod
They say if viagra lasts more than four hours call the doctor ? I’m just wondering it’s been 6 hours and I’m still hard should I call the doctor or hop on another women
Imagine if a disabled persons last name was runner or walker 😬😂
Once my twin brother died from a plane crash he’s last words were if its a bomb ill give it a 9/11
When was the last time you saw yourself in the mirror?
ill never forget my grandpas last words you need to park alittle closer
planes shouldn't have free wifi. why? because the last time they had free wifi, well here's what happened... on september eleventh 2001, (children scream)
what would you like as your last meal? Fried chicken. Extra crispy.
I put this joke so theamout of jokes wil be 69 also i have 50 kids in my basement i fed "twinkes" last night
What did MLK Jr. say when he spent the night on the internet?
“Last night i had a meme”
I'm such a good babysitter because the last person I babysat was so flat.
Why don't we have female magicians 'Cause the last ones got hang
Can u imagine what was the last thing that went through there brains
The knee caps
Last night i shared a bed with two of my friends because we were in a small hotel, We had strange dreams last night.
My friend on the left dreamed of getting a hand-job So did my friend on the right
I had a dream of skiing.
A man is on his deathbed in prison by electric chair. The man who controls the chair asks for any last words. The prisoner reply’s with: “Can you hold my hand?”
